Howdy friends, today we are starting a new Chapter of Good Housekeeping’s World Cookery. We are leaving the shores of Africa and heading to the good ol’ U.S. of A! I’ll be choosing a few classics and a few lesser-known dishes from the land of the free and the home of the brave starting with this Cheesy Egg Dunk!
I find it hard to believe that there was a time when a dip was strange to anyone. However, Good Housekeeping felt the need to introduce the concept with this:
“Dunking” is an established American custom. For any informal buffet type party, savoury “dips” are very popular. Guests help themselves to the bite-sized pieces of toast, etc., and dip them into one of several soft piquant mixtures”
I’m not sure why, if it is such an established custom, why they felt the need to put quotation marks around the words dunking and dips. Maybe we just need to be glad that “dunks” did not become the preferred nomenclature!
The Cheesy Egg Dunk tastes like a smooth egg salad. Full disclosure I only had 60g of cream cheese and, as I am about to go away for a few days I did not want to buy any more so I subbed in some cottage cheese to make up the difference. My version might be a bit less creamy but it will also be lower in calories!. More importantly, it was delicious!
Cheesy Egg Dunk – The Recipe
One thing that did bamboozle me – the recipe calls for piquant table sauce. I had no idea what that is so I hoped for the best and added a 1/4 teaspoon of Worchestershire sauce combined with a few drops of Tabasco sauce. I was pretty pleased with the result but if any of my American readers can let me know what piquant table sauce is, I would love to know.
If like me you are trying to lose a few covid kilos you could have some Cheesy Egg Dunk on lettuce as a low carb substitute for an egg salad sandwich. Or, you could take it high-end and sprinkle some fancy salmon roe over the top. Ooh la la!!!!
Maybe because I used 2/3 cottage cheese instead of all cream cheese my mixture was quite soft so I did not add the milk.
Just remember, if you make it…no double dipping!!!
A Little Vacay
As mentioned I am heading off on a little holiday! I am so looking forward to getting out of Melbourne, having a break from work and relaxing for a new days! One of the delights of the Air BNB we have chosen is that it has very sketchy reception. On the upside, that means no work calls or emails! On the downside, I might not be able to post from there next week. I have however planned to cook another recipe from this chapter when I am there. Even if I can’t post I will be thinking of you all as I make it.
I have already packed my books – I am taking the next Agatha Christie on my list, Why Didn’t They Ask Evans, The Devil’s Picnic by Taras Grescoe and The Lost Man by Jane Harper which will satisfy my need to have a holiday read that is set somewhat in the place where I am going. We will be on the coast and not in the outback but It is the closest I have! For the 4 hour drive there I have Stanley Tucci’s Taste all set to go on Audible!
I had such high hopes for this post. Then they were totally dashed by a twist of fate that…well…I guess if I’d seen it coming it wouldn’t be a twist would it? But I’m jumping ahead of myself. First, I was totally delighted when Greg from Recipes4Rebels asked if I would join in a cookalong for Cowboy Day! This event occurs on the fourth Saturday of July each year and is celebrated all over the world!
Obviously, this is not the fourth Saturday in July, however, as I will be sunning myself on the beach at Sanur in Bali that day, with Greg’s blessing I am posting my ventures into Cowboy Cookin’ early! And it’s a three course meal y’all. (Because 1 that’s how cowboy’s talk and 2 cocktails are a course aren’t they? This one is almost a meal! But again, getting ahead of myself!)
So now onto my foiled grand plans. My idea was that I would find a cocktail called a Bali Cowboy – possibly a more tropical version of this cowboy cocktail and I would make it for my post and then, on the day itself, I would tweet another picture of me in Bali with with my Bali Cowboy and it would in a glass as big as my head and it would be blue and loaded with umbrellas and pineapple wedges and all the other tropical cocktail paraphenalia.
A quick google soon showed me that there is such a thing as a Bali Cowboy. It is NOT a cocktail. Turns out that a Bali Cowboy is a male prostitute who hangs around Kuta Beach willing to sell his services to any rich (ie all) Western women who care to pay for them. So, whilst I’m not 100% ruling out a photo of me with a Bali Cowboy on Cowboy Day, the likelihood of it happening has dropped significantly!
So, new ideas had to be found. Starting with some caviar. Because we’re classy cowboys! It’s Cowboy Caviar of courseWhere has this salad / dip been all my life? If this is what cowboys eat, then I want to be a cowboy. It’s all kinds of beans and corn and tomatoes and avocado . Truly delicious! I loved this!
So, for the second course, I went straight to the top. And by that I mean Mr John Wayne himself.
Turns out The Duke and I share a love of eggs, cheese and chillies. Now, just one thing about the John Wayne casserole…. To my mind, when you combine egg yolks to beaten egg whites with other stuff, in this instance cheese and chilli and you them put that in an oven and cook until it’s all puffed up and golden, that’s not so much a casserole as a soufflé.
You be the judge:
I’ll sit quietly over here and let my case speak for itself.
By the way, cooking this for an hour would be way too much. You are seeing about 35 minutes and I think it was over. I would cook this…half an hour max. Also, the tomato didn’t do much. I would actually leave it out and cook this for 20 minutes total.
The soufflé casserole was good but I think I was so blown away by the Cowboy Caviar that it kind of paled by comparison. I will definitely make it again though!
And now for my grand Cowboy finale, I am turning to to person who started all of this, yep, Greg. This cocktail /dessert is A-MAZING! So, so good. Cowboys and cowgirls, can I present, the Giant Martini!
There is no other word for this but absolutely divine! The giant in the Giant Martini doesn’t refer t to it’s size (but you could scale it up very easily) but to the fact that it was created on the set of Giant by Liz Taylor and Rock Hudson.
Git along little doggie, this cocktail is all mine!
And you too!
Ah yes, Greg’s site on the PC, a cocktail in front of me and The A-Z of Cooking behind it. Just a regular day round these parts!
Many, many thanks to Greg, this was so much fun! Thank you so much for including me! I always say this but you hear so much about the internet being a a horrible vicious place, I am always delighted and totally honoured to make new friends, like Greg, on here.
Ok, I’ve gotta go, 5:30am start tomorrow! But I’m loving and leaving you with some some super rhinestone cowboy singing!
Find out all about the Cowboy Day Cook A Long here. Hopefully my attempts will inspire you to bigger and better things on the day!
Kiss me and smile for me, I’ll be back here in a couple of weeks but if you can’t smile without me, I’ll be tweeting and instagramming from Bali throughout.
Can you believe I’ve been doing this for nearly a year?
And as the anniversary approaches, I’ve been thinking about how to celebrate. Somehow my normal process of pulling one of the many vintage cookbooks from the pile under my bed at random doesn’t seem quite joyful enough. Primarily because this invariably involves me knocking the pile over, uttering some sustained invective as I pile it all back up then muttering “I really should Hoover under there one day”. That is not the stuff of celebration!
I had planned to sift through the pile to find something special. However, when I found “Eat your Way To Love and Beauty” by Swami Sarasvati in my local charity shop I thought I had found my birthday book! Who doesn’t want to be loved and beautiful? Especially on their birthday? And, why not eat my way there? It beats getting there by the other “e” word. You know, the one we try very hard not to mention here. Hint: it rhymes with…mexercising. Yes, I know that’s not a word. If you’re so smart, you try coming up with a word that rhymes with exercising. Anyway, it’s obviously working for The Swami. She’s cute. And limber!
The caption to this photo says
“Swami Sarasvati, her youth and vitality living proof of her cooking, exercises among her health dishes”
Please note: Retro Food For Modern Times in no way condones its readers exercising among their health dishes. Nor will I bear any responsibility for damages incurred if you decide to do so. To put it bluntly, if you end up with a pineapple up your clacker by engaging in this you’re on your own. And be aware that hospital staff will mock you behind your back. “Of course you slipped over whilst exercising among your health dishes… that’s what all the deviants say.” You have been warned.
Swami Sarasvati was a tv icon on Australia in the 1970’s, where she taught a generation of early morning tv watchers the art of yoga and the delights of a vegetarian lifestyle. I wish she was on the telly now. I would totally watch her. Well, I probably wouldn’t get up that early but I would record her shows, meaning to get around to doing some sun salutations one day…right after I vacuum under that bed! She also still runs a yoga retreat in New South Wales. It is currently ranked the number one hotel in Kenthurst on Trip Advisor. That it is the only hotel in town is by the by.
Speaking as someone who has been on a yoga retreat, the Swami’s looks pretty good. I had a miserable time the last one I was on. It was freezing and in lieu of heating, my room came equipped with a massive spider. I thought it would be not in keeping with the yoga/vegan/hippie vibe of the place to beat the ugly fucker to death with my shoe. This meant I was too scared to sleep for the entire time I was there in case, during my slumber, the spider decided to break our unspoken entente cordiale to crawl into my hair or lay eggs in my face.
You will be disappointed, though if you click through the link. Eat Your Way To Love and Beauty is no longer on the list of the Swami’s books available for purchase. We’re about to find out why.
Some of the sensibilities of the book feel very modern. Take for instance the Swami’s response to the question:
“What is healthy food?”
“It is food as fresh as possible and eaten as soon as possible. Refining, preserving, canning or colouring food should be avoided wherever possible”
That doesn’t last long…we descend into the land of the loony almost immediately.
Q – “How can food make me more loving?”
“A well nourished woman will have the strength to be patient and understanding and loving even when life seems impossible. Your children won’t turn to drugs”.
Q – “My Husband won’t eat health foods”
“Girls, to keep your marriage fresh and exciting, you must keep yourself and your husband youthful and vital….there are enough tangy gourmet health dishes in this book to tempt your husband. Before long he will be better at business and sport.
You know what Swami? You had me at love and beauty…let’s not bring my husband and non-existent children into it.
But despite all this…despite dooming Mark to bankruptcy and failure on the sporting field (by which I mean his PS3 breaking) and the poor dogs to having to sell themselves to strangers for Schmackos…I will not be celebrating this birthday by eating my way to love and beauty. Eating for hatred and ugliness has got me thus far, I guess I can continue for another week or so!
I have made a few recipes from “Eat Your Way To Love And Beauty” being a celery soup, an eggplant bhurta and a carrot halva.
Here they are:
Celery Soup
Eggplant Bhurta
Eggplant Bhurta
Carrot Halva
Carrot Halva
These all tasted ok. Actually, the carrot halva was really good once I added a bucketload of brown sugar – kind of like carrot cake without the cake. And the eggplant was also pretty good. The celery soup was average. There was nothing wrong with any of them. They were just a bit drab. Look at them. They’re not screaming party are they? They look, earnest, well-meaning, brown. The food version of Coldplay. Worthy but kind of boring…
Which brings me to the second reason, we will not be celebrating Retro Food For Modern Times first birthday by eating our way to love and beauty.
Now, for those of you who are not au fait with the gimlet, it is defined by the fount of all knowledge, Wikipedia, as:
“A cocktail made of gin and lime juice”
Two ingredients. One of which is missing from the Swami’s recipe.
Never mind, I thought, the next recipe is called Singapore Gin. Maybe I’ll make that as my birthday cocktail.
Or maybe I wont…we like our booze here at Retro Food For Modern Times, celebrating anything without booze is anathema.
No wonder this book isn’t for sale anymore, it was probably banned for false advertising. I’m pretty sure it’s illegal to call a cocktail Singapore “Gin” when it contains not the slightest whiff of a juniper berry!
Next week we’ll party like it’s 1969. I won’t give too much away but there will be gin and there will be gelatine; if I can get sufficiently organised there maybe something else starting with a “g” to make up a full three course meal…cocktail and dessert count as 2 courses don’t they?
I’ll be spending my week frantically trying to think of that third course…
Let’s face it, cottage cheese exists for one reason and one reason only. I call it “The Posts” as in post-Christmas, post-New Year, post holidays, birthdays, Easter, you get my drift. Pretty much post anything that is fun (i.e. involves large volumes of eating and drinking). Mondays feature strongly.
The symptoms of The Posts are a glance in the mirror that is quickly averted, followed by a groan of “I really need to go on a diet”. The effect of The Posts is a lightening of the wallet as you race down to the supermarket and fill your trolley with carrots, celery and the aforementioned cottage cheese. Which will be thrown into the rubbish about three months past its use by date. Sometimes, it may have even been opened. It’s not so much the lack of taste it’s that curdy texture which is just…ewwww….And yet, I keep buying it.
I have, in the past, resorted to other methods of getting rid of The Posts. One such event saw me popping down to the local health food shop to pick up some magic thinness bullets a.k.a diet pills. Of course, they were hidden so I had to ask the weightlifter type who was stacking shelves where I might find them.
He was one of those muscle-bound creatures with prominent veins, a shaved head and a tattoo on his neck. I have nothing against tattoos in general. I have one myself. Neck tattoos, however, are generally skanky. No one looks good with a neck tattoo. Except maybe George Clooney in from Dusk til Dawn. His was kind of hot.
Most other people look like trailer trash or like they just got out of prison.
“WHAT DO YOU WANT DIET PILLS FOR?” the possible ex-convict snarled back at me. And he didn’t ask it in a “Because you’re so svelte you don’t need them” tone either. He started off belligerent. And it went downhill from there.
Why do you think I want diet pills, idiot? Because I read on the internet that if I shoved them up my arse the alien rectal probes couldn’t get me? What kind stupid question is that? It’s the equivalent of asking an adolescent boy why he’s buying condoms. There is pretty much only one reason. To be asked to explain that reason out loud, in a crowded shop, is just humiliating. Actually, I take that back. It’s worse than questioning a boy buying condoms. At least in that instance he could snap back “To fuck your mother.” I had nothing.
Prisoner 845 had one volume. Annoyingly loud. “DIET PILLS DON”T WORK”
You really don’t understand the nature of retail do you Sunshine? It’s probably why you got sent to prison in the first place. So, here’s how it should work:
I ask for diet pills.
You give them to me.
I give you money. (That bit’s important. It’s probably the part you forgot last time)
I leave happy.
Your shop stays in business
Liptauer Lunch
“YOU DONT NEED DIET PILLS. YOU NEED TO EXERCISE”
Really? I never realised that steroids made you stupid as well as shrinking your penis. If I was that way inclined I wouldn’t be here asking for diet pills would I? I’d be out…skipping… or whatever it is that people do when they exercise.
I didn’t say that.
He was big. And mean looking. And one of the veins in his neck was starting to throb alarmingly. I started to back away from him because he was quite clearly suffering from some sort of ‘roid rage. I didn‘t even understand why he was there. Health food shops should be run by aging hippies not steroid abusing, serial killers.
Eventually I was backed into a shelf of herbal tea. He then leant over me and said in the most threatening voice I have ever heard. “YOU EAT DAIRY DON’T YOU?”
Yes I do and whilst we’re on the subject of dietary habits you should probably lay off the red meat. There’s a box of Sleepytime Tea digging into my left shoulder. Maybe you should try a cup.
I didn’t say that either.
He then leant down so he was about a centimetre away from my face. He was all red and his eyes were bulging out; he looked like he might be about to have some sort of apoplexy. He was also one of those people who spit when they talk and he was so close it was getting all over my face which was….I give up…there are no words to describe how utterly, utterly repulsive that was.
And then, as I was trying to surreptitiously wipe my face he bellowed (and spat) at me:
“CHEESE… IS… DEATH.”
Nothing in my life had prepared me on how to deal with a spitting neck-tattooed lunatic in my face and screaming about how dairy products would kill me. I was also slightly more concerned about my impending death at the hands of the psychopath in front of me than any damage a camembert could inflict. So, I did what I usually do when I don’t know whether to shit or go blind. I started to giggle. Then I ran. As fast as my chubby little legs could carry me. All the way down the street to the next health food shop where a lovely aging hippy had absolutely no qualms about selling me some piece of crap, expensive diet pills that didn’t work.
An easier way to get rid of The Posts and to thus avoid health food shop sociopaths would be to make Mary Meredith’s recipe for Liptauer (or as she calls it Liptaur).
This was good. Really good. Both as a dip and as a healthy lunch.
However, I don’t understand the point of mixing cottage cheese and butter. Next time I make it I’ll use a low-fat cream cheese instead. This will also remove the cottage cheese curdiness which was the only downside of the recipe.
Mary Meredith mentions that the Liptauer is also really good with baked potatoes. I wasn’t about to bake a potato as we were having bangers and mash for dinner. Hang on…potato is potato right? Should I? Dare I? I’ve put cheese, chives and mustard into mash before – maybe not all at the same time but they all worked. Anchovies are mostly salt. What could go wrong?
Yeah, ok, you can all stop facepalming.
The gherkin. The gherkin could go wrong. I know that….
Now.
I put it down to temporary insanity caused by finding a delicious use for cottage cheese.
Here is a picture of the Liptauer mash. Don’t try this at home. It was revolting.
Liptauer Mash
So, I ask you. Is cheese death?
And if so, outside of the Liptauer Mash debacle of 2013, could there be a better way to go?
