I was so disappointed with my attempt at an Irish Potato Salad Roll that it drove me to drink.
Quite luckily as it happened because that particular cab on the road to rack and ruin drove me right up to the Emerald Presse. And you know, if there’s one other thing the Irish are famous for outside of potatoes, corned beef and cabbage, it’s drinking. And the Emerald Presse will tickle the tastebuds of even the most fastidious of Fassnidges.
Emerald Presse1
I’m not normally a whiskey drinker so I was not sure how this would taste. I liked the idea of the mint, apple and lime even though they seemed a weirdly light combination for what I always think of as being a heavy drink.
Anyhoo….Put ’em together and have you got? Not bibbidi-bobbidi-boo but…My new favourite drink!!!!
The flavours worked really well together. That little frizzante from the sparkling apple juice also added some lightness to it. In my best Irish accent this was the fooking craic!!!! I can’t even begin to tell you how delicious this is. You need to make it immediately and come back to me.
Go on
I’ll still be here when you get back.
Now, take that first sip and “Ohhhhh…..Yeah, sooooooo good”
Then we’ll have a sneaky second. Just because that sparkling apple juice isn’t going to sparkle forever.
The original recipe for this called for 45 ml of Jameson’s. When I measured this out, it looked like a huge amount of whiskey. I scaled mine back to around 30mls and found it about right for my taste. You can scale up or down according to your preference.
Styling Tip
If you really wanted your whiskey in a jar, this would look really cute served in mason jars – in which case you probably could use the full 45ml of Jameson’s.
[yumprint-recipe id=’27’] Happy St Patrick’s Day, may the road rise to meet you!
I wanted to make something really amazing for St Patrick’s Day and when I say something really amazing what I mean is an Irish Potato Salad Roll. And you all thought I was joking when I said I was going to make the PSR into a thing!!!
So, I found this recipe for an Irish Potato Salad – this baby has potatoes, cabbage and corned beef. Faith and Begorrah, could you get more stereotypically Irish?
I was so excited I played some Mumford and Sons and did a little impromptu Riverdance around the dining room.
Irish Potato Salad Roll here I come!!!!
The Luck of The Irish Part 1
The first problem arrived when I could not find celery seed in either of my two local supermarkets. Minor Detail. I have celery salt. And celery. How much flavour is the seed going to add anyway?
The Luck of The Irish Part 2
I”m just going to come out and say it. Corned beef is disgusting. Maybe I bought the wrong sort of stuff but it said Corned Beef on the tin:
The recipe said to cube it, so I assumed it was going to be kind of like Spam i.e. able to be cubed. What I did not expect was this disgusting gelatinous fatty mush which almost made me gag. There were also big chunks of fat left in the bottom of the can.
And it smelt really bad.
My original plan was to cook the corned beef, onion and cabbage together, then make a kind of chunky mash with the potatoes, mayo and pickle and swiss roll them together and serve it cold.
Having seen the corned beef cold put me right off though so that plan went out the window. Mine was going to be a warm salad.
The Luck of The Irish Part 3
So, I started cooking my corned beef and onion and….oh, god, this bit did actually make me gag. There was something weird in the meat. Initially I thought it was one of those lumps of fat. Except it didn’t melt.
It looked like a piece of skin. This picture does not even convey the disgustingness of this lump of….whatever the fuck it was…
So, whilst I was dry heaving, the corned beef started to stick to the pan. So I thought it might be a good idea to throw a glass of wine in there to deglaze the plan. Because wine makes anything better right?
Wrong. This is how doomed this dish was, Adding the wine just made a very fatty, milky, winey, even more stinky liquid rise to the top. This was so incredibly gross it’s kind of making me throw up a little in my mouth just thinking about it.
The Luck of The Irish Part 4
In the end I plated it up by making some chips with the potatoes and making a stack. Potato, corned beef, potato, mayo and chives, potato, corned beef, mayo and pickles.
The Luck of The Irish Part 5
If this was a Hollywood version or even a reality tv show, right about now, I’d saying something along the lines of “You know, when I plated this up, despite all the set backs, despite all the trials and tribulations, this tasted fantastic….best thing I’ve ever eaten”.
It was nothing like that.
It definitely wasn’t the worst thing I’ve ever eaten. Then again, I ate bugs in Cambodia. It was the definitely worst thing I’ve eaten this year. And this is the gift that keeps on giving, not only did it leave a layer of grease in my mouth that survived at least two tooth brushings but even though I had the extractor fan on for the longest time, the day after I made this, there was still a fug of corned beef and cabbage through my entire house.
Hmm…maybe this really did need the celery seed.
Epic fail.
Sorry people of Ireland. I tried.
And my head told my heart
“Let love grow”
But my heart told my head
“This time no, This time no
But never fear…just like a benevolent Colin Fassnidge on My Kitchen Rules, I’m giving myself a redemption round.
And this time, it’s something not even I can fuck up. Roll out the barrel of Jameson’s…next up…we’re having an Irish inspired cocktail. Please let it be fabulous…or you know…just better than this. Otherwise, I might have to strategically vote myself out….
How do you plan to celebrate St Patrick’s Day? If at all?
What’s the worst thing you’ve eaten this year? Ever?
What are your thoughts on strategic voting – MKR or anywhere
“The Knickerbocker Glory Years” is Martin Lampen’s hilarious homage to all that is awful in British food. From A – All You Can Eat £5.99 to Z – Zest, the book lays out the dark side of British cooking.
I really liked this book. Lampen’s humour is of the very dry British style. If you do not like my excerpts you will probably not like the rest of the book. If you do like them, try to hunt down this book as you will thoroughly enjoy the rest of it. Also, the same book is called “Sausage in A Basket” in some parts of the world.
Many of the entries are short. For instance, the entry for Wood Fired Pizza is:
“Big Fucking Deal”
The longest entry is 13 pages and documents Lampen’s first dinner party in all it’s excruciating awkwardness. This is the type of book you can dip in and dip out of as you require, it doesn’t have to be read from cover to cover.
Given that I touched on the 1970’s fondness for Ham Steak and Pineapple in the last post, Lampen’s take on Gammon is:
“The pig is slaughtered, its hind legs are removed, cured, glazed in honey and sliced into steaks. If this isn’t indignity enough, the steaks are then topped with a single wet pineapple ring from a dented tin and a waxy maraschino cherry.
Yes, gammon steak when topped with egg or pineapple is a peculiarly British dish: a bloated pink slab of fatty meat, topped with a garish fruit hat. Rather like a ‘Nikita’-era Elton John”
On the subject of pineapple, the entry for Tropical is:
“In Britain, any food or drink – be it a concentrated juice, cordial or sugary carbonated fizz – containing lemon, lime, pineapple or mango is tagged as ‘tropical’.
It’s important to note that other items included in the taxonomy ‘tropical’ are tuberculosis, typhoid, tularemia, (and) tropical storm Arlene”
Or, this for Guacamole:
“A filthy Soylent Green-style dip, guacamole is usually served with stale Doritos, a mountain of melted Cheddar cheese and mayonnaise on chain-pub’s nacho platter . It’s made from dead people.”
As for the eponymous Knickerbocker Glory Lampen has this to say:
“The knickerbocker glory, a layered dessert served in a tall glass and made with ice cream, tinned peaches, chocolate or fruit sauce and strawberry puree was the first post war dessert to be made in Britain that did not contain suet.
For a young male aged between eight and fourteen in the 1980’s, the knickerbocker glory was the greatest sensual experience one could imagine. Greater even than being interfered with by Bananarama”
For those of you who have no idea what Bananarama is, firstly it was a they and they were an immensely popular girl band of the 1980’s.
In homage to this book I made my own Knickerbocker Glory and it was about the funnest thing I have eaten all year!!! And I know full well funnest isn’t a word, but it was so much fun I lost all thoughts about grammar.
My version of Knickerbocker Glory differs from Lampen’s in that I always thought Knickerbocker Glory should contain jelly. My version contained the following layers:
Strawberry jelly (Jello)
Vanilla ice cream
Chocolate cookie crumbs
Sliced Banana
Strawberry Jelly
Strawberry Ice-cream
Frangelico Fudge Sauce (Recipe follows or you could just use your preferred chocolate sauce)
Chopped nuts
Rosewater & Almond Tuile (Recipe follows or you could use a bought wafer)
Strawberry Garnish
For something that is largely put together from bits and pieces, this looks spectacular! And tastes even better!!!
Enjoy!
Recipes:
Frangelico Fudge Sauce
This makes 6 cups, you can obviously adjust quantities down if you do not want this much. This is so easy to make and absolutely delicious!
1 litre cream
250g dark chocolate
200g marshmallows
Frangelico to taste
Heat the cream, chocolate and marshmallows slowly until melted and well combined.
Stir in Frangelico to taste.
Almond and Rosewater Tuiles
These are a little troublesome to make but are worthit in the end!
50g caster sugar
30g unsalted butter at room temperature, plus extra for greasing
1 egg-white
1/4 tsp rosewater
Finely grated rind of 1/2 an orange
35g plain flower
30g flaked almonds
pinch of salt
Make a template by drawing a triangle, circle or any shape you want on a plastic lid or a sheet of firm plastic, then cut the shape out. The shape should be no larger than 5cm in diameter. Set the template aside.
Beat sugar and butter with an electric beater until pale and creamy. Add eggwhite and beat on lowest speed until incorporated.
Add rosewater, orange rind, flour and a pinch of salt. Mix lightly until combined, then refrigerate for 1 hour to rest. (The batter will keep in the fridge for 2-3 days.
Preheat oven to 180°. Place template on a baking paper lined tray, add a teaspoon of the batter into the template and spread the mixture with an offset palette knife so that it fills the template in a thin even layer.
Repeat until the baking tray is full. Scatter almond flakes over each until tuiles are golden brown on the edges (8-10) minutes. While still warm you can shape around a rolling-pin if desired or cool on tray and carefully remove.
Repeat with remaining batter.
Tuiles will keep in an airtight container for 3 days.