Drinks Archives - Page 10 of 22 - Retro Food For Modern Times

05
Mar
2019

Mock Food (And a Real Cocktail)

categories: Books, Cocktail, Tequila, Vintage Recipes

The Irish artist Francis Bacon once famously declared

Champagne for my real friends, real pain for my sham friends.

Today, friends we are looking at some sham or mock foods. And we may not have champagne but we have a cocktail that looks like this and tastes super delish!

We’ll come back to the cocktail later.

Believe me, we might need a stiff drink or two after the horrors I’m about to inflict on you.

So, I was flicking through the pages of “Possum Pie, Beetroot Beer and Lamingtons” and I noticed a trend for mock food.

STARTERS

MOCK OYSTERS AKA WHAT TO EAT WHEN THE WORLD ISN’T YOUR OYSTER

So what would you expect to be in a mock oyster? My first thought was maybe a mussel? Oysters are spendy. Mussels are cheap. Open your mussels, add some bacon, Worcestershire sauce and a dash of Tabasco sauce, pop it under the grill and you might have a fairly close approximation of a Kilpatrick Oyster.

Alternatively, why not give brains and walnuts a whirl?….

I don’t know WTF a mix of brains and walnuts would taste like (and I don’t ever want to know) but I’m willing to bet it isn’t oysters!

Not a fan of un-oysters? What about some delicious crispy fried non- whitebait?

MOCK WHITEBAIT BECAUSE EGGY CHIPS DOESN’T SOUND CLASSY

Okay, I think we can all agree that this is not NEARLY as bad as that brains and walnuts combo. But no one is going to be fooled!

MAIN COURSES

MOCK DUCK – FAKE FOOD OR REAL GANGSTER?

I’m just going to say this right now. This recipe makes no sense.

I kind of get the oyster thing and even the whitebait thing on a monetary level. Oysters are expensive. Whitebait not so much but eggy fries would be cheaper still. I totally understand why people might want to take a cheap ingredient and dress it up to taste like something a bit fancier. Now it may be different where you live, but here? Steak, good steak, is far more pricey than duck.

I also have absolutely no idea of what kind of 50 shades of bondage moves you would need to tie a steak into the shape of a duck.

And finally…I don’t care what shape you tie your steak into. It will not taste like duck

For a far more interesting Mock Duck, let’s take a trip on the way back machine to 1900 in New York’s Chinatown. Here, a “cherubic, ever-smiling, moon-faced Machiavelli” gangster called….wait for it….Mock Duck was terrorizing rival gangs. If you have ever heard the term “hatchetman” you have Mock Duck and his gang, the Hip Sing, to thank. The term was coined due to their practice of carrying hatchets with sharpened blades in their sleeves. Mock Duck was a total badass who wore diamond buttons on his shirts and a chain mail vest to stop bullets! More about Mock Duck’s Exploits can be found here.

MOCK SQUAB PIE – ITS A CONSPIRACY OF BAD TASTE

The word squab always reminds me of a scene from the movie JFK when Tommy Lee Jones says “Hope you like squab.”

Except, he says it with a Southern drawl so the A in squab lasts for like an hour.

Squaaaaaaaab.

Well, if you like squab but are having trouble finding some, look no further.

So squab tastes like meaty apple pie? In that case Tommy Lee, “No, I don’t like squaaaaaaab”.

SOMETHING ON THE SIDE

IMITATION SPINACH – IT’S NOT EASY BEING GREENS

I might be talking from a very 2019 Melbourne centric stance here. But spinach is EVERYwhere. I cannot think of a place where I could be where I was not in walking distance of a bag of spinach. Why you would then want to imitate it is unfathomable to me. No spinach? Have beans. Or cabbage. There are lots of other vegetables out there. We don’t need to fake spinach.

And also Pumpkin shoots? I have no idea where I would find any sort of pumpkin shoots, let alone tender ones. I guess you need a vegetable garden. In which case you could probably just grow spinach.

SHAM GINGER – WHAT NO COPYCAT MARYANNE?

This one is just ridic. Making sham ginger from cucumbers and ground ginger? Why not just use the ground ginger?

DESSERTS

LETS END IT ALL WITH SOME CHEESECAKE PUDDING

So, cheesecake…technically not a cake. But always containing cheese right?

Not so much.

Q: How disappointed would you be if someone told you they were making cheesecake for dessert and it turned out to be sieved potato with a smattering of sultanas?

A:

I THINK WE ALL MIGHT NEED A DRINK!

In fact, it’s time to totally relax because all the bad food is behind us and kick back with a glass of the very appropriately named Tequila Mockingbird Cocktail! This is soooo good. Fruity, sweet, spicy and with a little kick of da da da da da da da…Tequila!

Tequila Mockingbird Recipe

I hope you enjoyed this little foray into the weird and…well…certainly not wonderful world of mock foods. Tell me? Do you have recipes for Mock Food in your collection? Have you ever made a mock food? And did it taste like the real deal?

Have a wonderful week!

24
Dec
2018

Nakatomi Towers Cocktail

categories: Cocktail, Grapefruit, Movies, Sake

Yippy Ki Yay People of the World! I joined a film club. And, to celebrate, I made a very down low version of Jane Rocca’s Nakatomi Towers cocktail. The original recipe contains fancypants ingredients like Shochu and yuzu but two days before Christmas, I have enough to do without trying to source either of them so we’re going basic. And you know what? My version is delicious!

So, my work team decided to form a film club! One of my work buddies had 12 themes for films and there are six of us, so we each got randomly allocated a theme and a time. Turned out…I was up first. With the theme of “Blockbuster”. It was actually one of the easier themes. I flirted with Home Alone for the seasonality, and Inception because it made the bucks. But when we talk blockbuster and this time of year? There can only be one!

Ah, Die Hard…I had not seen Die Hard for many a year and, truth be told, I was wondering whether it would stand the test of time. It does! I made some popcorn and spent a rainy Sunday afternoon totally absorbed in the antics of John McLaine, Hans Gruber and co. So absorbed that I then watched A Good Day To Die Hard which is the only one of the franchise I own. Don’t do that, it’s terrible. But Die Hard the original – awesome!

Then, during the week, I happened to be flicking through the pages of Jane Rocca’s The Fashionable Cocktail (I can thoroughly recommend it) and I came across the recipe for a cocktail called Nakatomi Towers…and this post was born!

This is the original recipe but the shops at this time of year are a hot mess and even if I was willing to brave the great unwashed, given I have never seen a yuzu in my life, my chances of finding one on the eve of Christmas eve were slim. My tiny local bottle-o had Sake so that was going to sub in for the Shochu and I had a grapefruit in the house. I also don’t see the reason for simple syrup if you are going to add lemonade so we can cut that step out too…It’s Christmas, we’re all busy, let’s not take time consuming steps unless they are absolutely necessary right??

I do like the thought of muddled apricots though!

Okay Hans, sure whatever. Calm the farm down dude. It’s Christmas! Have a cocktail and enjoy!

Let’s get to the recipe shall we? Are we good to go?

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Nakatomi Towers

Print Recipe

A delicious cocktail celebrating the blockbuster “Die Hard”

Author: Taryn Fryer

Ingredients

Scale

2 Apricots
45 ml Sake
45 ml red grapefruit juice
Lemonade
Ice Cubes

To Garnish

Apricot slice
Grapefruit wedge
Maraschino cherry

Cook Mode Prevent your screen from going dark

Instructions

Muddle the apricots in your shaker.
Add some ice cubes, the sake and the grapefruit juice to the shaker.
Shake it like a polaroid picture.
Put fresh ice cubes into a glass.
Strain the apricot / sake mixture into the glass.
Top with lemonade.
Garnish with a slice of apricot, a wedge of grapefruit and a maraschino cherry.
Take a sip and murmer “Yippy Kay Yay!”

I really like the kind of funkiness the sake brings to the Nakatomi Towers. It works really well against the sweetness of the apricots, the tanginess of the lemonade and the bitter of grapefruit. For a cocktail that I “dumbed” down the flavours are quite complex. And not heavy on the booze so if you want to have more than one it’s….

So tell me… What movie would you have chosen given the theme “Blockbuster”?
And where do you stand on Die Hard being a Christmas movie?
For the record? In my opinion – it’s a movie set at Christmas, not a Christmas movie. But let the debate begin!

Have a wonderful Christmas everyone!

11
Dec
2018

The Nine Cocktail

categories: Books, Cocktail

The Nine is a delicious cocktail from “The Nightmare Before Dinner” the book I mentioned last week in the post on Beetle Pie. The book features recipes from Beetle House, Zack Neill’s Tim Burton inspired restaurants located in Los Angeles and New York.

Tim Burton + food? You had me at hello! 😍

I love a sour cocktail and The Nine is the best blend of sweet, sour and apple flavours.

And it’s a great colour! An almost iridescent green. You can almost imagine it glowing in the dark. It doesn’t (I checked) but it looks as if it might! This is a fun cocktail As is the book it came from!

If you like your food to come with a pun (and I think by now we all know that I do!) or you are a fan of Tim Burton, or you want to dine at Beetle House but can’t afford the flight to New York or L.A, then this book is for you! Or the film buff in your life! Christmas is coming peeps….

The Nightmare before Dinner begins with Sauces and Dips for the Recently Deceased – my favourite being the Veruca Sauce! To be used only when you “want an Oompa Loompa now, Daddy, now”…or, probably more commonly, to put over chicken, fish or veggies as it is a delicious sounding honey butter garlic sauce.

And with all due respect to Tim Burton – there will only ever be one Verucca Salt. (And just so we’re clear? It’s not his version)

The next chapter is caled The Nightmares Before Dinner. This contains recipes for items like Hallowpeno Honey Cheddar Cornbread, Charlie Corn Bucket and Beetle Bacon Bread….just listen to this mouthwatering description

“It’s a hearty sundried tomato and bacon “pizza” with a sweet balsamic reduction, soft mozzarella cheese and crisp scallions”

Here’s the picture from the book:

How I good does that look? Let me tell you a little secret into my obviously maladjusted childhood. When I was a child, apparently I would kiss the tv screen whenever my favourite handsome boy of the moment would appear. This picture kind of made me want to lick the screen…

I didn’t!!!!! I swear I didn’t!

And let’s never talk about any of this ever again.

The next chapter, Soups and Salads for The Living contains, of course, a Giant Peach Salad. The Macarbre Mains section has an Edward Burger Hands, a Shrimpy Hollow and my very, very favourite….ah no. I’m saving that one for a special occasion.

But the Edward Burger Hands sounds delish! And a lot easier to eat than this meal!

I won’t take you through all the chapters because I think you should have a taste for the book now.

See what I did there? A taste for the book?

Oh…Kay. moving swiftly along…the final chapter is how you can put together the various meals to have themed parties. It also offers suggestions for table and room decorations so you can really set the scene!!!! Here are both the menu and the scene suggestions for an Edward party!

The joy of The Nightmare before Dinner lies in that it is seriously good food and cocktails that don’t take themselves to seriously. Hmmm…sounds kind of like the ethos of this here blog…no wonder I like it so much!

Here’s the recipe for The Nine:

Now, let’s all make ourselves The Nine and jump in the line…..

Day -O….

Many thanks to Net Galley and Quarto Publishing for the ARC of The Nightmare Before Dinner.

Have a wonderful week. I”m going to binge on Tim Burton films. Speaking of which…what’s your favourite?

Mine is an absolute four-way tie between Beetlejuice, Edward Scissorhands, Ed Wood and Pee Wee’s Big Adventure.

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24
Oct
2018

Bittersweet Symphony – The Aperol Gin and Tonic

categories: Aperol, Cocktail, Cointreau, Gin

People of the world, meet my new favourite drink! Forget the Aperol Spritz, the Aperol Gin and Tonic is a great drink for summer drinking, or really for any time of the year.

I love G&T’s and Negroni’s and the Aperol Gin and Tonic is kind of a cross between them. Or, as I like to call it, win-win.

The Aperol Gin and Tonic is slightly sweet, slightly bitter, has great citrus flavour and a lovely complexity from the botanicals in the gin. All of which is a fancy way of saying “It’s delicious…drink up!”

It’s also a very pretty drink!

Even though this is called the Aperol Gin and Tonic, there is a surprise ingredient in here which I think rounds out the flavours, ramps up the orange and adds the sweetness….

Yep! Cointreau. Which I am also partial too! If you wanted to take the Negroni-ness of this up to 11, you could, of course, sub out the Cointreau for some vermouth!

I found the recipe for the Aperol Gin and Tonic in a Waitrose magazine when I was in England earlier this year. Made it and then promptly lost the recipe. Luckily it was not hard to remember!

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