Cheese - Retro Food For Modern Times

12
Feb
2015

Favourite Tomato Salad

categories: 1970's recipes, Blue Cheese, Salad, Salad Dressing, Sour Cream, Tomatoes

As we approach the day of ~~sickening oversentimentality~~ love, it seems fitting to devote a post to the love apple aka the tomato. And just to further add to my bah humbug disdain of the day, I thought I would share another one of my dating disasters from the good old days when I was single (and dinosaurs ruled the Earth). The first which I posted last Valentine’s day can be found here.

But first, tomatoes…..have to be one of my favorite foods. And as much as I love the fancy stuff – if you give me two slices of white bread, spread liberally with butter, some slices of tomato, preferably fresh from the garden some salt and pepper….right there you have a little bit of my idea of heaven.

And speaking of tomato heaven, this salad is one of the best things I have ever eaten. And it’s not just my favourite tomato salad, it is also a mash up of Rosemary Mayne Wilson’s Favourite Tomato Salad and her Superb Blue Cheese Dressing.

Just look at this and tell me it’s not one of the prettiest things you have ever seen? And just to gild that lily? The dressing contains a hefty dose of blue cheese. And a liberal splash of sherry for those of you who, much like myself, like to have a little bit o’ booze with….well pretty much anything.

So tasty and full of yummy deliciousness. But as we celebrate the love apple, let’s also take a step back into my dark, deep dating history for another disaster story.

So, a few years ago, I was dating a someone who…seemed pretty normal. Until.

STRIKE ONE

Best Tomato Salad2 — Favourite Tomato Salad2

We were due to meet my mum and her partner for dinner one night. And we had to park a little bit away from the restaurant. As we started walking through the car park, he went to spit on the ground.

Which, is pretty disgusting in, and of, itself. But then came

STRIKE TWO.

So. He goes to spit on the ground.

Only thing is…he misses.

Misses the ground that is How you ask? How can he miss the ground? Do you live in a land of anti-gravity?

No, He missed the ground because he spat all over his own shoe.

Feel free to insert massive eyeroll at will.

Bad enough, you’re going to spit on the ground. That’s uncouth. Do you need to add uncoordinated onto that as well?

So now we’re half way across the car park. He has a big gob of spit on his right shoe. Which needs to be gotten rid of pronto because we’re about to meet my parents.

And here comes

STRIKE THREE

He chose to get rid of that big gob of spit by lifting up his right leg and wiping it on the back of his jeans on his left leg.

Appalling, I know. But you haven’t even heard the worst.

Because even though I know that technically there’s no such thing as a

STRIKE FOUR

The worst thing?

Let’s just suppose I had accidentally spat on my own foot…it would never happen but you know…in the realms of absolute fantasy….

I would have hopped about shrieking like a banshee for….I don’t know, at least a good ten minutes…

“OMG, I’ve spat on my own shoe…what am I going to do? I need to get it off, how am I going to get it off…where’s the nearest shoe shop? I need to buy new shoes…” etc.

HE did not even break stride. It was like spit, shoe, wipe…all in one fluid motion. Which only meant one thing….

It wasn’t the first time he had done it.

He was a serial spitter and misser.

That relationship didn’t last the carpark….

This tomato salad should become an immediate part of your summer repertoire. It’s so damn good!!!

Happy Valentine’s Day!!!! Hope it’s fabulous whatever you do!

[yumprint-recipe id=’22’]

08
Jan
2015

Cucumber Catamaran with Carrot Paprika Balls

categories: 1970's food, 1970's recipes, Carrot, Cream Cheese, Cucumber, Starters

They say the devil will find work for idle hands to do.

And when I say they, I mean Messrs Morrissey, Marr…and….ermmmm…. the other two. AKA The Smiths. I’m not sure where the original quote for that comes from. Shakespeare? The Bible?

Wouldn’t it be fabulous if I had a little box and I could type questions into it and get almost instantaneous answers to questions like who were the other two and where did that quote come from?

But, no time for that sort of sorcery right now….these idle hands built a boat!!!

Not a real boat, I haven’t spent my holidays tinkering around the backyard with a hammer and some hickory barky bark, but a boat nonetheless. A catamaran to be exact!

Remember when I made the Hayman Island Chicken Salad? That post contains this photo amazing photo of a catamaran table.

And now, in the spirit of a Russian Doll, imagine a smaller catamaran. Maybe one that could be placed on the catamaran table, filled with some cheesy balls o’ goodness.

Et voila…

The cucumber catamaran.

Now, I”m not saying she’s the best looking boat in the world. She’s a bit wonky. But she is quite obviously a boat.

In case you need some work for your idle hands, here’s how to make your own:

The paprika carrot balls weren’t bad either…recipe below…

The Smiths are one of my favorite bands ever. I spent countless hours of angsty teenage emotional turmoil locked in my bedroom listening to “How Soon Is Now” and “There Is A Light That Never Goes Out”, countered only by and the sheer manic malicious exuberance of “Panic”.

So here’s a little treat for me you!

This week, I’ll be “spending my warm summer days indoors, writing frightening verse to a buck tooth girl in Luxembourg”…

Otherwise known as doing this. Which I guess makes you my bucktooth girl.

Where ever you are.

Have a great one!

[yumprint-recipe id=’17’]

09
Nov
2014

Joan Crawford Inspired Dinner For Two

categories: Blue Cheese, Books, Persiana, Potato, Starters, Steak

A few weeks ago Jenny at Silver Screen Suppers invited her readers to celebrate the launch of her book of Joan Crawford recipes by taking part in a cookalong. I was so excited to be a part of this and I set Melbourne Cup Day as the day because strangely enough, I was going to be at the races on the actual day.

Jenny very kindly provided us with three of Joan’s recipes. One was for Crepes Suzette. Having recently had Crepes Suzette expertly cooked for me at the Lotus Blanc in Cambodia, I thought I might give this a miss. I wasn’t sure my attempts at flipping and flaming would compare. However, I was well and truly up for the other two, starting with

Joan’s Crawford’s Danti-Chips

Joan Crawford's Danti-Chips — Joan Crawford’s Danti-Chips

I was so excited about these. I was even more excited when the jars of devilled ham were two for one at the local supermarket.

And then, dear readers, I made a newbie, amateur, doofus mistake. Because logic should tell you that when you are confronted with a jar of pink paste called Devilled Ham, you just need to accept that all it contains is ham and…other….stuff. Don’t ever go wondering what that other stuff might be. For the love of all that’s good in the world….

DO NOT EVER READ THE LABEL ON THE BACK OF THE JAR OF DEVILLED HAM.

And yes, I am shouting at you. Because it was over a week ago and I still feel sick thinking about it. And you know, Deviled Ham was one of my pleasures in life. Admittedly not high on the list but it was there. And now it has gone. Forever. Just like Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups.

I’m not going to tell you what was in it. Just don’t read the label. Even though now you really want to. I know you do. do not give into the temptation. Imagine that jar of Peck’s Paste is local Nazi Colonel and you are an oversexed French Cafe owner hiding some English airmen and a priceless painting of The Fallen Madonna with The Big Boobies and resist!

(And if you had absolutely no idea what that last bit was about, your parents obviously didn’t watch enough British sit coms during your formative years….

You can find out more about that particular tangent here:

‘Allo ‘Allo)

So anyway, I chose the vegetarian option. I used a mushroom and spinach tapenade for my chips. He had the devilled ham, Far be it from me to spoil anyone’s enjoyment of life the way mine has been destroyed. Plus, we have two jars of it to get through. Ignorance? Bliss.

These do look really pretty though don’t they? And they tasted really delicious. I added some chopped up pickled chillies to my pickle garnish and they went really well with the other flavours as well as adding a little colour.

We ate these mid’-afternoon whilst watching the races. And believe me, it took no time at all for that plate to become this…

STEAK WITH ROQUEFORT

Later on in the evening it was time for the second of Joan’s recipes and….it’s making my mouth water even as I think about it.

Ooooohhhhh yeah…Steak with Roquefort come on down. (Although technically mine was Steak with Stilton as the local supermarket does not stock Roquefort).

Joan Crawford's Steak with Roquefort — Joan Crawford’s Steak with Roquefort

We had this with some kale and beans I also doubled up with a book club recipe and made the Turmeric and Cumin Potatoes from Persiana. Which were also super!

Meal to remember!!!!!

Steak and any sort of blue cheese is amazing. And Joan’s little twist with the….not telling…you need to buy the book to find out….is awesome!

Oh, and if, like me you happen to have some leftover corn chips from the Danti-Chips and some leftover roquefort mixture from the steak you can combine these with any leftover kale and some very finely chopped red onions to create a delicious spin on Nachos the night after!

Hopefully Joan would approve!!!

Thanks Jenny for the wonderful opportunity to be a part of this!!!! I loved the recipes and can’t wait to see the rest of the book!

I think it’s only fair this week to have the sign off to come from the lady herself. Have a fabulous week – maybe think about how you can add some old Hollywood glamour into your life. And buy Jenny’s book! If the recipes I tried are any reflection it will be awesome!!!

Link here:

Cooking with Joan Crawford

And remember

09
Oct
2014

Rebel With A Cause – Smoked Trout Empanadas

categories: Chipotle, Cream Cheese, Finger Food, Fish, Mexico, Puff Pastry, Smoked Trout, Snacks, Starters

Have you ever read a recipe where the ingredients seem right….but the execution just seems horribly wrong?

The other day I was looking for something in…you know THAT room? Otherwise known as the room where we dumped all the crap we didn’t have a specific home for when we first moved in. Nearly a year later? It’s all still there. Thank the Lord for whoever invented doors. It makes it so much easier to metaphorically close the door and walk away from the room when you can literally close the door and walk away from the room.

I didn’t find what I was looking for in the room, because most things that go in there don’t come out. What I did find was a manilla folder full of old recipe clippings which included one for something called for Trout and Mascarpone Triangles.

Before we get to the point does anyone else have problems spelling mascarpone? For some reason in my mind it’s marscapone. I also can’t say the word “Preliminary” – that one just ends up a hot mess of r’s and l’s where they shouldn’t be.

But anyway, immediately in my head, (yeah the same one that can’t spell ma-scar-pone or pronounce pre-lim-in-ary) I had a vision of what these would be. They would look like exactly like these:

Hmm…except….maybe a little more triangular.

So, I was bitterly disappointed when I actually read the recipe and found it was nothing like that.

In fact, that whole recipe annoyed the hell out of me. In most cooking circles when you call something an X & Y triangle it’s pretty much a given that the X and Y are IN the triangle. Take these delicious looking cheese and spinach triangles from taste.com.au. Spinach and Cheese both EXACTLY where they should be i.e. inside the pastry triangle.

That is what I wanted from my trout and mascarpone triangles! Golden puff pastry filled with chunks of gorgeous pink smoked trout, creamy mascarpone, fresh herbs, a touch of chilli….that was what my mind told me a Trout and Mascarpone Triangle could, and should, be.

At best the original recipe is for trout and mascarpone ON triangles. And who the hell wants that? No one that’s who. I’m calling shenanigans on that recipe.

In some circles they say, if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em. In my circle I say if you think their recipe is a crock, make it like you think it should have been. And while we’re in the spirit of rebellion – the fancy pants Italian cheese I can’t be bothered writing the name of (because I would only have to re-write it to spell it correctly) can go fuck itself too. I’m using good old Philadelphia Cream Cheese. Which I forgot to take a photo of. The rest of the stuff is here:

I used a smoked trout, you could sub in smoked salmon if you prefer or cook a fillet of fish as per the original recipe. Or even used canned salmon or tuna to make these. Up to you. And I had an empanada maker thing but you could make triangles as per the original recipe. Or embrace the spririt of doing it your way and make them any shape you want!

If you are going to use an empanada maker, here’s how you do it from an expert,Connie Veneracion. Shame I didn’t read this until after I had made mine and hence some of mine were a little…shall we call them rustic? 😉

How To Use An Empanada Maker

And here is the revised, and in my not so humble opinion, vastly improved recipe!

Enjoy!

Print

Smoked Trout Empanadas

Print Recipe

Ingredients

Scale

400 smoked trout or cooked fish of choice
1 tbsp lemon juice
1 red onion, finely chopped
100g cream cheese, chopped into a small cubes
1 canned chipotle chilli and approx 1 tbsp of the adobo sauce it came in
1 tbsp dill
1 tbsp parsley
2 sheets ready rolled puff pastry
1 egg, beaten
poppy seeds and chilli flakes to garnish (optional)

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Instructions

If using a smoked trout, remove the skin and flake the flesh from the bones. Place this in a bowl with the cream cheese, red onion, lemon juice, chilli, dill and parsley. Mix lightly to combine.
Preheat your oven to 200C and line a baking tray with baking paper.
Cut four circles out of each of your pastry sheets, using your empanada maker or tracing around a small plate or cup.
Place 1 tbsp of the trout mixture in the middle of each circle then fold the pastry over to seal in the filling.
Crimp the edges to seal.
Place on the baking tray and brush with the beaten egg.
Sprinkle with the poppy seeds and chilli flakes if using.
Cook for 15 minutes or until puffed up and golden.

Lesson of the week – if you don’t like it, change it.

Have a fabulous week and fight the power!

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22
Apr
2014

Retro Easter Part 2: Easter Lily Sandwiches

categories: Asparagus, Cream Cheese, Lunch, Sandwiches

Let’s start with a caveat.

I am perfectly aware that these sandwiches do not resemble Easter Lilies and would, based on their look, be far more appropriately called Calla Lily Sandwiches. But it’s Easter ok?

And take a look at them. How pretty are they? Perfect for an afternoon tea with the girls….

Easter Lily Sandwiches2 — Easter Lily sandwiches

And they taste pretty damn good too!!!

There are a few recipes for these lily sandwiches floating about the interwebs. However, most of them use green onions for the stem. I actually made it that way the first time but was disappointed in the taste.

Chomping on that big stalk made the sandwich way too oniony – I’m pretty sure no one else wants to bite into a huge chunk of onion like that either. Or suffer the onion breath afterwards. But to use them as decoration only and take them out when it came to eating the sandwich seemed like a waste. My first thought was to replace the onions with beans but when I went to buy the beans, I was waylaid by some gorgeous baby asparagus spears.

And my version of the Lily Sandwich was born.

If you can only get thicker asparagus you could cut the spears in half down their length. If asparagus is not available, use beans or celery matchsticks – all of which I think would be preferable to the onion!

Oh and a tip for the frugal. When you cut the circles out of the bread, don’t throw the rest of the bread out. Save them to use for what my family call Ox-Eye eggs but is, I believe more commonly called, Egg in A Hole the next morning! Any asparagus left over can also be dipped into a runny yolk for a breakfast made in heaven!!!

Leftovers

Oh and if you don’t happen to have a rolling-pin handy, a bottle of your favourite sauv blanc works equally as well.

And would also be the perfect accompaniment to these sandwiches at your Easter afternoon tea!

Print

Easter Lily Sandwiches

Print Recipe

Pretty asparagus sandwiches, perfect for a Spring afternoon tea!

Prep Time: 10
Cook Time: 5
Total Time: 15 minutes

Ingredients

Scale

1 bunch of asparagus
Slices of white bread, as many as you have asparagus spears
1 tub of cream cheese or a herb and garlic flavoured cream cheese like a Boursin
2 tbsp fresh chopped chives (omit if using a flavoured cheese)
1 clove of garlic, crushed (omit if using a flavoured cheese)
1/2 cup pistachios finely chopped
1/2 tsp smoked paprika
Carrots cut into matchsticks, the same number of matchsticks as asparagus spears
Salt & Pepper to Taste
Instructions

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Instructions

Tail the asparagus and steam until just tender.
Mix the cream cheese, paprika, nuts, salt and pepper and herbs in a bowl until smooth and creamy.
Using a cookie cutter, cutter cut out rounds from bread.
Then with a rolling pin, roll each round so it’s about 1/8 inch thick.
Spread about a teaspoon of the cream cheese mixture over each bread circle.
Place the carrot stick so it peeps out of the top, and the asparagus spear so it pokes out of the bottom. Fold the bread over to seal.
Voila! You have a lily sandwich.

One more Easter Treat to go…stay tuned!

Signature 1

Category: Cheese

STRIKE ONE

STRIKE TWO.

STRIKE THREE

STRIKE FOUR

Joan’s Crawford’s Danti-Chips

STEAK WITH ROQUEFORT

Smoked Trout Empanadas

Ingredients

Instructions

Easter Lily Sandwiches

Ingredients

Instructions