Category: Baking

Beetle Pie

Beetle Pie?  WTF is going on at RFFMT?  Is this the month of disgusting sounding food? Well, maybe…but I also just got sent a copy of The Nightmare Before Dinner: Recipes to Die For: The Beetle House Cookbook by Zach Neil and couldn’t wait a year for Hallowe’en to share a recipe with you.

And as with last week’s Stuffed Monkey, the yumminess of the Beetle Pie is directly proportional to the yechhhh factor of its name.  That is to say….it’s totally delicious.  Let me convince you by unpacking it into its component parts:

  • Chocolate wafer crust
  • Pistachio custard filling
  • Blackberry jam topping
  • Whipped cream and fresh blackberries to garnish

Yeah, baby!

There are so many things to talk about this week.  I really want to tell you about the book that contained the Beetle Pie recipe but that will have to wait.   Because while researching this post  I came across an absolutely bonkers tale from history involving a very different type of beetle pie.

So buckle in….because we are taking a trip in the way back machine all the way to 1863.

Beetle Pie

1863 was a huge year in history.  In America, Abraham Lincoln delivered the Gettysburg Address.  The Red Cross was founded in Switzerland.  And, in London, the first tube train ran between Paddington and Farringdon.  And some five miles away from Paddington,  in Brixton, Mrs Elizabeth Wilton baked a pie for her neighbour’s coachman, Edward Gardiner.

The relationship between these neighbours was…..strained.  Mrs Wilton liked to have German bands (and Negro singers) playing loud music in her house a few times a week.  This was not appreciated by the neighbourhood in general and her sickly, elderly neighbour specifically.  Words were exchanged.  And sometimes more than words.  On one occasion,  Mrs Wilton was seen throwing bricks at the neighbour’s windows!  She was feisty!

Beetle Pie2

She was also batshit crazy!  One day, she baked the German band a pie. They took it to the local pub to eat.  However, the pie was not filled with apples or rhubarb or cherries.  Or anything normal.  Because this was a pie baked by  Elizabeth Wilton who was as mad as a box of frogs.

The pie filling was a pair of ladies knickers!

Not to be outdone, one of the band members then donned the knickers, returned to Mrs Wilton’s house and danced in front of her door for a while.

I imagine that dance looking a little like this:

 

Loud music? Brick throwing? Underwear pies? Revenge door dancing? It’s 1863 people!  Calm the hell down and go catch one of those newfangled tube trains.  We won’t be needing your kind of mad arse white trashery until we invent reality tv in about 120 years!

But all this is merely to set the context under which the hapless Edward Gardiner received his pie.

BeetlePie3

Now, I don’t pretend to know anything about the life of coachmen in 1863 but from what happened next, I’m guessing it was hungry work.  Or maybe, they didn’t get paid a lot so hunger was par for the course.  Or maybe Edward Gardiner was just not too quick on the uptake.  Because despite the lingerie pie precedent, it took him a  good “six or seven mouthfuls” of Mr’s Wilton’s pie before he realised that

  • It tasted revolting
  • It was filled with black beetles and,
  • “A nasty stuff resembling mustard, but it was not mustard.”

The “nasty stuff” was later discovered to be gamboge, a yellow tree sap used as a laxative.

 

Not So Fast Eddie eventually took what was left of the pie to the local police station.  Where the sergeant claimed to have never seen “anything more filthy or disgusting” and that he had to open all the police station windows to get rid of the “intolerable stench”.

Let me just repeat.  The sergeant took one whiff.  Eddie G? Six (or seven) mouthfuls…

The next day, Mrs Wilton turned up at the police station bearing…..yep…you guessed it.  A freshly baked pie!

Which upon examination was found to contain a painted toy pear.

Which was found to be full of black beetles!

Later, in court, Mrs Wilton admitted having made the original beetle pie “as a lark”.

The judge agreed that it was a practical joke and not meant to cause injury and she was released from custody.

BeetlePie4

A few months later the irrepressible Mrs Wilton was back in the police station.  This time she was charged with knocking off a policeman’s hat whilst being drunk in public.

I love this woman!!!!!😍😍😍

There is no record of whether she baked the charging officer one of her very special pies!

BeetlePie5

I hope you loved the story of the utterly eccentric Elizabeth Wilton and her black beetle pies as much as I did!

I found the entire story on  The Skittish Library.  It’s a fabulous site, why not pop over and see what other delights Estelle has to offer!

And make a beetle pie in celebration of  Elizabeth Wilton and her pie making badassery from 1863!

Have a great week!

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The Crown Princess Victoria’s Birthday Cake

Can you believe I’ve been doing this for 6 years?  Who knew this was going to last longer than most proper jobs,  many romantic relationships and a large percentage of prison sentences!

This is a belated celebration though because I’m having a horrendous month.  First I hurt my back and was out of action for a couple of weeks.  And now I have an awful cold.

But better late than never!  And if we were going to wait for anything?  This might be the one! 

This is the Crown Princess Victoria’s birthday cake!

Crown Princess Victoria Birthday Cake

Time sure flies when you decide to follow your own brand of weirdness!

But let’s talk about this cake.  Because it’s not quite cake as we know it.  I also need to confess that I have no idea where this recipe came from.  I copied it out of a  book but totally forgot to note the book from whence it came. So, if anyone knows, please drop me a line so I can attribute it properly!

It’s also gluten-free for those of you who care about those sorts of things!

First up you need to start with two layers of nutty biscuit base.  The original recipe said walnut but I had almond meal in the house so rather than grinding walnuts into meal, I took the lazy girl’s option and used what I had.  (In my defence I also had a bad back at the time.  😉 ).  

And haters look out, I also thought it would work better with an almond base seeing as I was going to decorate it with marzipan.  It was going to be a double almond delight!

Next up a meringue!

Crown Princess Victoria Birthday Cake

Then meringue was sandwiched with whipped cream between the two almond discs.  This is where it got a little crazy because the meringue was round on the top and the discs were not.  So the sandwiching was a little rough…

Crown Princess Victoria Birthday Cake The the “cake” was “iced” with more whipped cream and decorated with fresh raspberries and some marzipan roses!

Crown Princess Victoria Birthday Cake3

This looked so pretty and was absolutely delicious.  The crisp biscuit, the crunchy outside of the meringue and the marshmallowy inside made for a lovely blend of textures. The raspberries added a cake much-needed tang into the overall sweetness of the cake and whipped cream just makes anything a party!

Crown Princess Victoria Birthday Cake

Here’s the recipe:

Print

The Crown Princess Victoria’s Birthday Cake

A different and delicious “cake” to celebrate any occasion.

Ingredients

Scale

For The Biscuit Layers

  • 1 1/4 cups almond meal
  • 1/4 cup icing sugar
  • 2 egg whites

For The Meringue Layer

  • 2 egg whites
  • 1/2 cup caster sugar

To Decorate

  • 1 1/2 cups whipped cream
  • 250g fresh raspberries
  • Fondant or marzipan roses

Instructions

For the Bicuit Layers

  1. Mix together the almond meal, icing sugar and the unbeaten egg whites.Spread out into 2 x 20cm rounds on baking paper on baking trays.
  2. Bake in a moderate oven for 10 minutes until firm to touch.
  3. Turn out onto wire racks and carefully peel off the paper.
  4. Cool.

For The Meringue

  1. Beat the 2 eggs whites until stiff.
  2. Add the sugar gradually, beating all the time until glossy and thick.
  3. Spread out to a 20cm round on baking paper on a baking tray.
  4. Bake in a slow oven until dry and crisp – around 45-50 minutes.
  5. Cool and carefully remove paper.

To Decorate

  1. Sandwich the meringue between the two biscuit layers with whipped cream.
  2. Cover the top and sides with whipped cream.
  3. Decorate with raspberries and fondant or marzipan roses.

You can find an article on how to make proper marzipan roses here.  Or you can muddle through and hope for the best like I did with mine!

Crown Princess Victoria Birthday Cake

And of course, I couldn’t let the moment go by without reference to this!

Have a wonderful week everyone!

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Smore’s Brownies & Sweet Revenge Book Review

The old saying tells us that revenge is a dish best served cold.   A new baking book will also have you believing that revenge is a dish best served sweet.  Sweet Revenge: Passive-Aggressive Desserts for Your Exes & Enemies by Heather Kim, due to be released in January 2018 is a super fun read and contains over 50 sweet treats to help you weather the storm when life gets tough. 

Because you know what?  Sometimes when a girl has had gee, I dunno, a week of totally mixed messages and is feeling hurt betrayed and just downright shitty, she just needs a little something something to get her through the day.   And by something something I mean a shit ton of booze cake. Or pudding. Or some  totally amazing S’mores brownies aka…

S'mores Brownies Those of you who are regular readers will know that I adore a pun so the names of the recipes in this book were pure gold for me.

In additions to the Everyday I Regret You S’more Brownies you can also find:

  • Shut Your Stupid Cake Hole – a coconut mochi cake with sesame coconut pecan icing
  • Stop Texting Me You Crepe – a crepe cake with Oreos
  • You’re A Piece of Sheet Cake – a cinco leches cake with malted milk whipped cream and salted dulce de leche drizzle (OMG…yes!!!!!)
  • Go Fudge Yourself – Macinac Island chocolate fudge with white chocolate candied ramen
  • I Ain’t Puddin’ Up With You – Butterscotch puddin’ pots with chocolate sauce

Smores Brownies8

I was beside myself with joy at some of these.  Truly. And not just for the names. I mean cinco leches cake with malted milk whipped cream and salted dulce de leche drizzle sounds like heaven.  Who even knew there were that many leches?  But now I want all cinco of them baked in a cake.  With a   dulce de leche drizzle…

As for the S’mores Brownies, let’s start with the base which a dark, glossy, fudgy brownie which was ridiculously easy to make.

Smores Brownies2Kim provides the recipe for home-made marshmallows to top this.  Being lazy, and in a hurry, I chose to buy some marshmallows.  Which all went wonderfully until….2 pink marshmallows short!!!!!

If you put these on the Brownies whilst they are still warm, they melt a little and fill some of the gaps between…sadly, not all of them!

Never mind, because we are about to cover it all with a Graham Cracker Streusel. And sprinkles!  And then, you get to blowtorch the hell out of it all.  Which is another great way to get out some frustration!

Smores Brownies7

Sweet Revenge not only has some great recipes like the ones above but also handy tips, gorgeous photos and cute drawings.  The downside of Sweet Revenge was that some of the flavour combinations were a little too out there for me vis a vis:

But you know what?  There are always going to be recipes that I don’t  fancy in any book. And it might be better to be edgy than boring! And I know I am making a judgement on a sample size of one but this seems like a pretty solid book – the brownies were amazing!

Here’s the recipe.  This is straight from the book so you can get a feel for the style:

Smores Brownies9

 

Here are some wise words from Heather on why you should bake for your enemies and exes:

And more wise words on revenge from Old Blue Eyes himself…

Get out there and be successful!  And bake these brownies!

Many thanks to NetGalley and Capstone / Switch Press for the ARC.

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Profiteroles For Very Special Occasions

You might think that five and a bit years into this that I would cease to be surprised.  Both when things go awry and when by some stroke of mad luck things work out just as they should.  Such was the case with the Profiteroles I made on the weekend from the Very Special Occasions Chapter of The A- Z of Cooking (1977).  When the profiteroles came out of the oven looking like, well, profiteroles, there were whoops of joy, squeals of excitement and a bit of spontaneous kitchen dancing!

Yep, in this house, this:

Equals This:

http://www.laughinggif.com/view/ew0vxmklkk/56.htmlBut let’s not get too far ahead of ourselves just yet.  First.  Hello V.  And whilst we’re on the subject let’s’ all note the name of the chapter.  Not just Special Occasions.  Very Special Occasions.  Requiring very special dancing apparently.  And also requiring several goes at making something that was worthy of posting. After all, it’s a very special occasion.

First up there was a go at Carpetbag Steak.  Now, if you lookup Carpetbag Steak anywhere on the interwebs, you will more than likely read that it is a famous  Australian recipe.  I’ve lived here virtually all my life and I have never head of it.  However, I really liked the idea of steak and oysters.  I made the recipe and it looked and tasted meh.

Then I made a Beef Stroganoff.  Tasted good.  Looked terrible in all the photos.  I think it’s that thing that Jenny from Silver Screen Suppers told me about where brown food just doesn’t photo well.  This was about the best…

So then I made Carpetbag Steak v2.  A modern recipe this time.  Still looked and tasted meh.

I was left with a choice.  Champagne and Orange Juice.  Or Profiteroles.  And believe me . You came so close to having Champagne and Orange juice as your very special occasion meal.  Because this is what happens inside my head whenever pastry is mentioned:

https://giphy.com/gifs/bored-room-clean-clWd5ft31I23KThe profiteroles only happened because the very special occasion was a long weekend due to the Football Grand Final being the next day.  I know right.  Who has a holiday BEFORE the big day?

“It’s the dumbest reason for a holiday ever” I said.

“Come to work then” said my boss.

“It’s the best holiday ever.  Better even than Jesus being born.  Or dying.”

So anyway, on the holiday for best/ worst reason ever I got a little bored in the evening and thought that I would have a flick through The A-Z of Cooking, to plan V-Z.  The profiterole recipe caught my eye and  I realised that I had every ingredient.  And a whole heap of bravado due to being about 3/4 of a bottle of a wine in.

Don’t judge.  That produced these.  Light as air, melt in the mouth, boozy cream filled and shiny chocolately pastry balls of deliciousness,

The basis for profiteroles, and the reason for my hissy fit is pastry.  Choux pastry to be exact.  I have made choux pastry exactly once before.  For a recipe called Cherry Fritters from The A-Z of Cooking.  Don’t bother searching the archives for them.  They were a total disaster and I didn’t post them.

But choux starts with a roux…actually no. According to The A-Z of Cooking choux pastry starts with 63g of flour.  Yep.  63.  Not 60.  Not 65.  63.  And seeing as this was a very special occasion, 63g of flour it was.

Profiteroles5This became this:

Which became these.  I couldn’t find a piping bag and my piping skills are non-existent so I just blobbed spoonfuls of the pastry onto the tray.  Also, I wasn’t really expecting this to  work.  And need I remind you about that bottle of wine that was now 5/6’s gone?

Well, slap my arse and call me Charlie if those funny looking blobs didn’t turn into these.  They’re shall we say  “rustic” but on a scale of one to ten of  being recognizable as profiteroles, they have to be at least an eight.

Profiteroles 10So then fill and ice and sprinkle and you get these: (even more profiteroley).

Profiteroles 11

Here’s the recipe direct from The A-Z of Cooking:

Profiteroles 12I tweaked the recipe by swapping out the rum for Amaretto and adding some sprinkles.

Make, eat, enjoy, do a little dance of sheer pleasure.

http://www.laughinggif.com/view/ew0vxmklkk/56.html

And have a great week!

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Pieathalon 3 – Lemon Potato Pie

It will come as no surprise to you, wise people of the internet that this, in all it’s earthy glory, is a potato:

PotatoAnd this, is a can of beans.

They don’t call me Captain Obvious for nothing!

Lemon Potato Pie Beans

What is probably not so obvious is that you can turn these into this:

Lemon Potato Pie4

That’s right,  lemon meringue pie made from spuds and beans.

How?

Well, it’s Pieathalon – the foodie equivalent of Mouseketeer Surprise Day; anything can happen and it usually does!

Starting with a brand new logo (thanks Greg, it looks super!)

PieathalonPieathalon is that time of year when bloggers from all over the world swap recipes and rejoice in the kooky baked goods of yesterday.  The full list of participants and what they made is at the bottom of the post.  Why not go visit them all?  Maybe start with Battenberg Belle who is making my pie of choice, Fatty Arbuckle’s Delight, then pop over to Ruth at Mid Century Menu  who sent me lemon potato pie!

Lemon Potato Pie 2

Lemon Potato Pie – The Pie

The recipe for Lemon Potato Pie comes from 250 Superb Pies and Pastries, a book from 1941. The use of the humble spud instead of the more luxurious ingredient of butter to create lemon curd had a feel of wartime austerity about it.  Butter was rationed right?  Otherwise….why?   No, seriously, WHY?

Let’s not delve too deeply into the minds of 1941 and get stuck right in to the pie.  Starting with some grated potato.Lemon Potato Pie 3This was then parboiled for a spell and quickly became a kind of gloopy liquid.

Lemon Potato Pie5

After the rest of the ingredients were added and it cooked some more, the potato broke down even further.  However, at the end of the cooking there were still some small flakes of potato which were odd and a bit off putting when you tasted the….sludge.  So, even though this was not in the recipe I blended the lemon mixture to make it smooth.  Bear, in mind I have the fussiest eater in the world as my chief taste tester!

Lemon Potato Pie6

Lemon Potato Pie  – The Meringue

So, then to the meringue. And here disaster struck.  I had put the separated whites into a bowl and left them on the far side of the kitchen bench while I made the filling. When it came time to make the meringue I looked around to where I had left the egg whites and they had vanished.

“Did you take my egg whites?” I asked The Fussiest Eater in The World.

“I gave them to the dogs.  I thought that’s what you left them for”.

We had no more eggs.  And we had been to a rather boozy lunch that day so there was no option of getting into the car to go buy more eggs.

“Crap…guess, I’ll have to finish it tomorrow”.

Lemon Potato Pie7

A bit later, I was making our dinner which was the Argentine Beef Stew from The A-Z of Cooking (1971). I will definitely blog about that one soon, it was DELICIOUS and I remembered something about making meringues from bean water.  A quick visit to Google confirmed that you could make meringue from the water that surrounds tinned chickpeas or white beans.  Why not give it a whirl?  It’s in the same spirit of “make do and mend” as the potato based filling.

Lemon Potato Pie8I drained the can of beans, the beans went into the stew and the bean water went into the mixer.

I was incredibly surprised to see that it meringued up a treat!

Lemon Potato Pie9Ooops!  I’d over filled my pie!

Lemon Potato PieIn homage to Ruth, I thought I would let the Fussiest Eater in The World have the final say on the Lemon Potato Pie.

Lemon Potato Pie: The Verdict

Mixed.

Lemon Potato Pie10So, what do you think?

“The filling is gorgeous.  It’s really delicious”.

And the meringue?

“Tastes like the worst marshmallow in the world”.

Well done cooks of 1941!  And thanks Ruth for a  super recipe!   Your lemon potato pie is delicious!

Sadly, vegans and egg intolerants, the aqua fava meringue was not. It was much more marshmallow-y than meringue-y. It was very gooey and a bit stringy – think mozzarella cheese on a pizza.

 

Lemon Potato Pie11

Here is the recipe for the pie:

Lemon Potato Pie recipeGiven the bean meringue was a failure, here is the proper recipe for the meringue from Ruth.

“The recipe for Meringue 1 is 2 egg whites, 4 tbsp sugar, 1/2 tsp vanilla.  Beat eggs until frothy, add sugar gradually, and continue beating until stiff.  Add flavoring.  Pile on pie and bake in 325 degree oven for 15-18 minutes”

Pieathalon 3 – The Bloggers

Here is the full list of the wonderful crazy people who participated in Pieathalon this year.  I’m heading off to see  their creations!  Why not join me?

Thanks as ever to the wonderful Yinzerella for making it all happen!

Have a wonderful week.  Now go eat some pie!

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