Great article on the interwebs today about Retro Holiday Foods that have, according to the authors, gladly been forgotten…although…I’m not so sure…
I thought this Shrimp Christmas Tree was brilliant…it reminded me a little of Yinzerella’s Shrimp Sputniks from a few days ago. I also loved that massive goblet of sauce… I had a little bet with myself that it would be nothing more than ketchup and mayo and…almost!
Shrimp Christmas Tree
I”m doing this…Christmas 2014, your name is Shrimp Christmas Tree. Recipe here.
Funnily enough, this also reminded me of the lovely Yinzerella:
Cocktail Weenie Tree
Whereas this just made me giggle for hours. Because I’m really a 12-year-old boy…
I’d ask what were they were thinking but it’s kind of obvious….
So, do you agree with the authors that these should be forgotten? Or, like me have you been inspired to add some retro glam to your next Christmas party meal?
Remember way back when I made the Spaghetti Bolognese that had the chicken livers in it? You know, “the best Bolognese ever” that prompted me to implement the “Don’t ask, don’t tell rule?” into all future cooking ventures? Well, it happened again this week with the Almost Emerald and Ruby Fruit Salad, and we’ll definitely go there but first….
Topaz and Ruby Fruit Salad
You might be looking at the above picture and wondering why the featured item is called an Emerald and Ruby Fruit Salad. Because emeralds are green right? Any fool knows that. And, you might assume that, this is one of those quirks of vintage cookbooks that I would normally mock mercilessly.
Unfortunately, wrong and wrong.
Sometimes, the fault lies entirely with me. I’ll pause while you pick your jaws up off the floor. But just to prove a point, let’s count all the ways I failed to notice a fairly crucial part of Nancy Spain’s recipe for Emerald and Ruby Fruit Salad.
1 The name. Emeraldand Ruby.
2 Nancy also very kindly provides a picture of said Emerald and Ruby fruit salad. And even more kindly, it is one of the pictures in the all colour cookbook that is in glorious technicolour. And yep, it’s green.
Emerald and Ruby Fruit Salad
3 The recipe quite clearly states that layer 1 consists of lime jelly and strawberries.
4. Emeralds are green. Even failing all of the above. Logic would dictate that the Emerald layer of the Emerald Fruit Salad would be green.
So, given all that and that I trotted all the way to the shops and bought some lime jelly specifically to make my Emerald and Ruby Fruit Salad, how on earth did I manage to use lemon i.e. yellow jelly in the first layer?
I know . I was astounded at my level of dumbfuckery too. Feel free to roll your eyes and face palm as much as you want. I deserve it. But once you’re done, let me introduce you to my…(erm..just hold on a moment whilst I google yellow gemstones….) highly delicious Topaz and Ruby Fruit Salad.
Topaz and Ruby Fruit Salad
It still looks pretty but…doofus mistake right? It also then really threw me for the second layer. I had lime jelly left. But, now the recipe called for lemon jelly. Dilemma – use the lime jelly and hope it turns out ok? Or head back down to the shops and buy some more lemon jelly? In the end, I bought more lemon jelly. I figured the avocado, mayo and salt combo was going to be enough of a sell even using the correct recipe. Who knew what would happen if I threw the lime into the mix?
Topaz and Ruby Fruit Salad
So, now to the next part of this saga.
I live with the fussiest eater in the world. And high on the lengthy list of foods he doesn’t eat are avocado and mayonnaise.
So, I was kind of surprised to get a phone call at work on Monday, after making this on Sunday.
“You know that jelly thing?”
“Uh huh”
“I saw you put the avocado in”
Fuck it. Now I”m going to have to eat the whole thing myself. I’m going to be eating jelly until Easter.
“But I took some to work to have for snack and…it’s surprisingly good. What else is in there?”
Oh…ermm…jelly. Lemon Jelly.
“Just lemon jelly and avocado?”
Yeah..pretty much…bit of lemon juice…
“Wow…who knew…it’s really good”
Good. I’m glad you like it.
I’m going to hell. I really am. But you know, it also kind of proves my point. Tonight if I served up a salad containing avocado and mayo, it would be left on the plate. And he would probably eat two slices of the Emerald and Ruby Fruit Salad for dessert to make up for it.
Artichokes didn’t feature on the menu when I was growing up. I’m also not overly fond of the ones you get in the deli which taste more of the vinegar they come in that anything else. So, I had actually never eaten a fresh artichoke until last year…I‘m not sure what prompted me to buy some because let’s face it, they’re not an attractive proposition.
Water Lily Lamb Salad
I don’t mean the way they look, that’s awesome – the amazing colours, the gorgeous mix of purple and green and their sculptural shape…
They are almost like something that should be in should be in a bouquet rather than on your plate and, just to prove that point, here’s one I prepared earlier….
Artichoke-Kale-bouquet
Gorgeous. And functional. If you get a little peckish…pull off a leaf and have a nibble. Win. Win.
So, when I say they are unattractive, what I really mean is that they are hard work.
Imagine trying to explain the artichoke to someone from another planet…
“Well you’ve got to trim off the leaf tops with scissors, then brush them with lemon so they don’t go brown”
Yeah but if you didn’t cut them, you wouldn’t have to…
“Never mind about that. Then you have to scrape out the choke…
Scrape out the what?
“The choke…it’s kind of a hairy bit at the bottom…”
It has a hairy bottom? And you EAT this?
Uh Huh.
Removing the choke
Why’s it called a choke?
Not sure but if you don’t remove it all sometimes the fuzz can get caught in your throat and apparently it can be very painful.
Oh my God. This hairy bottom vegetable wants to kill you. You humans are bonkers. Anyone else would run a mile from this thing…There’s no way I”m eating that. Might come in handy as a weapon though…
Ok, so I”ll just dip these deliciious leaves in melted butter and eat them myself shall I?
What?
That’s a traditional way of eating them. You dip them in melted butter and then you drag ’em through your teeth…
Why aren’t more foods dipped in melted butter? As far as I can ascertain the only things that are regularly dipped in butter are artichokes and lobsters both which are pretty good anyway. Why aren’t we doing this with some of the revolting stuff (beetroot springs to mind) to make it taste better? I guarantee more people would like Brussels Sprouts if they came liberally doused in melted butter. Just saying.
Anyway I digress. You know what is also good? Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens…but a few more of my favourite things are mayonnaise, lamb and capers.
And all of these delicious things can be found in the Nancy Spain recipe for Water Lily Lamb Salad. And this time, I really did prepare one earlier….
Water Lily Lamb Salad 2
Apart from the cutest name ever, the Water Lily Lamb Salads are pretty damn good and would make a great starter for a springtime lunch. It’s such a lovely way to present the meal as well…albeit, I cooked my artichokes for the full 25 minutes as recommended by Nancy and they kind of fell apart, hence my slightly awry water lillies in the photos! Tasted great though. Still, I’ll cook them a lot less next time. You could sub in chicken for the lamb as an equally deliciious variant. Or an egg salad would be incredible…
And, if you needed any further incentive to eat artichokes, Marilyn Monroe was crowned the Artichoke Queen Of California in 1947. And look where it got her…
No, not dead of a barbiturate overdose at the tender age of 36…wow, you people are cynical…
Marilyn Monroe – Artichoke Queen
I”m going to be spending my week hanging around greengrocers, waiting to be crowned queen of something.
Then again…why limit myself to produce when I can crown myself
It seems like an awfully long time since I have done one of these but ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce you to, straight from the vaults of 1972, The Nancy Spain All Colour Cookery Book.
Nancy Spain All Colour Cookery Book 001
Don’tcha just love it when you open the first page of a book and just know you have found something to treasure. The All Colour Cookery Book opens with this…
Nancy Spain 001
Yep…a black and white photo.
I guess “all colour” meant something different back in 1972…
Then let’s mosey over to page 3 where Nancy gets her kit off…no, sorry to disappoint, it’s not that sort of page 3….although equally shocking for the folks of 1972 I would imagine is the following:
“That is because my partner’s “presentation sense” is very, very highly developed and she uses colour in “laying out” her Sunday or Saturday lunch as an artist would “lay out” his palette”
What? Did I read that right? Did Nancy Spain just out herself? Who knew there were lesbians back in 1972? Ok, no we all knew that…but I always assumed that those times were a lot more homophobic and that people were a lot less open about their sexuality….then again, it was the ’70’s…people were flinging car keys into fruit bowls with wild abandon…maybe being out and proud was nothing back then…as it should be now…. Anyway, you go girl!
Whenever I read these old books, I can’t help imagine the personalities of the authors…In a really early post I spoke about my crush on Jules J Bond; Greta Anna Teplitzky is the cool girl in school I always wanted to be. And Nancy and I, would have just been besties…who wouldn’t be best friends with someone who takes photos of themselves holding oversized vegetables over their heads…
Nancy Spain 003
Or with oversized cookware…
Nancy Spain 2
Or who hold parties based on obscure Nationalities….
Nancy Spain 4
Or who begins a piece called “The Three Musts for Every Party” with the words:
“Drink is all important…”
She’s definitely a girl after my own heart!
She’s fun, she’s boozy, and a little bit kooky, and we’d never fall out because we both fancied the same boy! Why would we not be friends?
(Ps the other two musts are food and music).
So, this has just been the taster, we’ll have a closer look at the good, the bad and the ugly of the contents of the book over the next few weeks.
Oh, and welcome back WordPress followers…who knew you would all drop off when I moved platforms? Specifically because I was assured you wouldn’t drop off when I moved platforms…but you’re back now…I think, I hope…Let me know if you are.
Meantime, I’ll be moving house and planning my Liechtensteiner themed housewarming party….you can all come, but only if you wear the Liechtenstein National Dress and bring me something from there. Although I remember from a Year 8 geography project that their main produce is postage stamps… Wear this & bring booze…from anywhere. I’m not fussy….
I’ll handle the menu.
Wikipedia tells me popular Liechtensteiner foods include asparagus, bread, pastries, rosti, schnitzel, sandwiches and yoghurt. If I wasn’t already in the middle of moving house, I might up sticks to Liechtenstein…the cuisine sounds fab! And that national dress has a kind of cute raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens Sound of Music vibe….
I’d love to say that I’ll be spending my week planning a holiday to Liechtenstein. However, the reality is packing and unpacking boxes….although my new house is going to be awesome…I”ve already set up the bar…
And cookbook corner is looking wicked good…
Still have an enormous amount to do so, best be doing it, instead of arseing about on the internet all night.
I had a bit of a shock last week when I published the Pimms Post and a little message came up saying “You have published 50 Posts” Wow! Really? I completely forgot! Good thing it was a cocktail post, we can take as a celebration had. BTW, just between us, I discovered later in the week that if instead of ginger ale or lemonade, you happen to mix Pimms with some elderflower cordial and soda water the result is like heaven in a glass! So, so good.
Oh and less than a week after I posted about all things British and tennis, Andy Murray finally won Wimbledon….coincidence? I like to think not.
Tomato Consomme
My ability to influence major sporting events is not actually my super power. No, mine is a lot spookier. I’m telling you this just so, when things happen over the next few weeks, you won’t be surprised. And here it is…whenever I go on holiday…famous people die. Seriously. Here are just some people who have shuffled off this mortal coil when I have been elsewhere:
Princess Diana (long weekend in Warnambool)
Kurt Cobain (Sydney)
Michael Jackson/ Farah Fawcett (Surfer’s Paradise)
Amy Winehouse (Malaysia)
There have been others, I just can’t remember them off the top of my head but really…that’s 4 of the big ones right there. Weird right?
I was also in Barcelona the day Lehman Brothers went down, signalling the start of the GFC….
Tomato Consomme 2
I’m just about to go on holiday so I thought I would love and leave you with a classic retro recipe, the tomato consommé.
I was an unadventurous eater as a child. I took a vegemite sandwich to school every day for 4 years running. Mum still laughs that I was the only vegetarian who didn’t actually eat vegetables. So, last week when I not only whipped up a concoction made of tomato juice, chicken stock and gelatine but ate it without a second thought, it was a bit of a victory for me over my old habits.
So…if my life was a Hollywood movie this would be the bit where I bring a spoonful of the consommé to my lips…maybe I hesitate just to build some dramatic tension….then I would slurp that sucker down, give a sexy little wink to the camera and mouth the word “Delicious.” Next up there would be a montage of me finding new appreciation of all the other food I don’t like – boiled peas, boiled carrots, beetroot, pork chops, any mix of chocolate and orange, the list goes on. And on. And on.
Tomato Consomme 3
To be honest though. It wasn’t that good.
It tasted like slightly chickeny tomato juice. It wasn’t disgusting. Just not awesome. It LOOKED gorgeous. Which I guess is like saying that someone you’ve been on date with had a great personality. No, I’ll tell you exactly what it was like. I once read somewhere (let’s face this, this next…ahem…”fact” more than likely came from Cosmo or the Huff Post or another source of dubious reliability) that men fall in love with women because of who they are. And women fall in love with men for who they could be. That’s how I felt about this consommé. It was kind of a loser in its current state but given a little time and patience it could probably become something awesome.
As I ate my way through the massive amount of consommé the recipe produced, I found myself thinking…huh..what if I also made a basil jelly and made little cubes of the consommé and little cubes of basil jelly and made a really cute caprese? Or what if instead of the bitters (which added nothing) I subbed in some Worchestershire and Tabasco and made a Bloody Mary Consomme? What if I piped that jelly onto celery sticks? Or teeny cubes on oysters? What if I added more gelatine and spices and made it into something akin to a quince paste to have with cheese?
Taken from Woman’s Day All Colour Book of Cooking for Slimmers (1978)Tomato Consomme. Taken from Woman’s Day All Colour Book of Cooking for Slimmers (1978)
For the right girl (or boy) there is some real potential here to take this and turn it into something truly awesome. Not me though. I’ve been eating consommé for about a week. I’m consomméed out….and…I’m going on holiday!
I’m going to be spending the next 4 weeks in Vietnam and Thailand, two fab food hangouts. I booked a Street Food tour in Hanoi today and I am so excited about it! And there was a little Banh Xeo place I didn’t around to visiting last time we were in Saigon that I’m dying to try. I can’t wait to revisit the wonderful Morning Glory in Hoi An…and I’ll going to try to do a cooking class in Phuket…in between lounging by the pool sipping cocktails! So food will be high on my agenda and, when I get back, I’m sure I’ll have some stories to tell!
Enjoy your month whatever you get up to! I’ll be back mid August. And stay safe, even if you’re not a celebrity or an investment bank.
