You might be wondering what the flipping heck that monstrosity in the photo above is. Don’t worry, we’re not eating it. You may also be wondering why the flipping heck I’ve suddenly gone all British. No idea gov, lawksamercy, love a duck, what’s all this then?
And, I’m done. This is what happens when I watch My Fair Lady and Oliver in the same day. It’s the same reason I can’t watch medical shows. I get symptoms. Seriously. A few years ago we were watching, I can’t even remember the show, maybe RPA, maybe Grey’s, whatever. The topic was the teenage basketball player who got bone cancer in his leg. During the ad break I got up to go the bathroom.
“What are you doing?” he asked.
“I’m going for a pee,” Because I’m classy like that.
“Why are youlimping?”
Well duh….in my mind at that moment I was a 17 year old athlete with leg cancer. Of course I was limping.
Huh? How on earth did I get there?
We were meant to be talking about the hideous thing in the photo above. And below just to refresh your memory.
This is a coloured onion waterlily. And it is my early Christmas gift to all of you in the Northern Hemisphere. Because Rosemary Mayne Wilson says that these :
Look exotic for parties and are useful in wintertime if flowers are unavailable.
They are also useful if you want your whole dining room to smell of raw onions . As I know so many of you do. Merry Christmas north of the Equator. Don’t even bother to thank me. You’re more than welcome.
And seeing as we are in the Christmas spirit, I thought I might give some special Salads For All Seasons gifts to a few of my favourite people.
First up is Erica from Retro Recipe Attempts. Earlier this year, Erica made this:
So she is not averse to awful soup recipes. So, Erica, Buzz, kids. Merry Christmas and please accept my gift to you of New Year’s Eve Dressing. I really hope you make this. And I hope you don’t hunt me down and kill me later. Enjoy!
Next up, my favourite and yours, the fantastic, fantabulous, Yinzerella. Now you all know that The Yinz is fond of both some lamb curry and a lot of jello. So, to the lovely and adorable Yinzerella I give the Curried Lamb Mould:
And just because I can’t imagine anyone else ever being ballsy enough to cook and eat this, I also give her this Quick Tuna Salad. May the road rise with you Yinz, hopefully not as quickly as your stomach will after making this….
My next gift is for anyone who wants to take up the challenge. Your Christmas present will be my forever esteem because, you have gone where angels fear to tread. Please someone make this and let me know if it truly is as disgusting as it reads….
There will be some good festive recipes from Salad for All Seasons coming up…stay tuned and have a fab week!
Great name huh? It just kinda rolls off the tongue. Sportsman’s Saturday Salad. I have no idea why it is called that; but the name instils visions of mad hungry footballers coming home after a match demanding to be fed. This is a relatively hearty salad with beans providing the bulk and salami and eggs providing the protein. I guess it is kind of a man salad….even though I tried to make it as pretty as poss.
Sportsman’s Saturday Salad1
This gem comes from…huh…where else? Rosemary Mayne Wilson’s Salad’s for All Seasons. And it’s good. Really good!
He had a couple of mates coming over to do….things…in the garden pertaining to retaining walls and welding and digging post holes. Maybe. I’m pretty sure it was something like that. Whenever they started talking my brain did that thing they do in the Snoopy cartoons when the teachers talk….
I may have even started snoring at a few points. But anyway, there were, if not exactly sportsmen in my house at least some semblance of burly-ish men and they not only ate this salad, they wolfed it. I also pretty much ate my own weight of it so it is by no means limited to sportsmen.
I did make it on a Saturday but believe me, this would be good any day of the week!
Sportsman’s Saturday Salad2
Here is the original recipe and below you will find my tweaked version.
Capsicums repeat on me so I always sub something else into recipes containing them. In this instance it was chopped cherry tomatoes.
I also subbed in 5 bean mix for the kidney beans because that’s what I had in my cupboard.
And I happened to have some of the saffron yoghurt left over from when I made the super delicious eggplant dish from Perisana so I used that instead of mayo. You have to waste not, want not with the saffron, that stuff’s exxy!
Sportsmans Saturday Salad
Because I am obsessed with finger food, I made mine into bite size portions but you could also make a big salad as per the original.
This is great, quick, easy tasty and I thought it looked pretty as well.
And remember, it’s not just for Sportsmen. Or Saturdays. It’s barely even salad. It is really badly named. But delicious!
Try it!
And have a fabulous week.
And let me know if you have any food you think is incorrectly named!
Those of you who don’t live in Australia may be unaware that the Melbourne Cup is run on the first Tuesday in November. The Melbourne Cup is our version of the Kentucky Derby or Ascot or the <<insert the biggest horse race from your country here>>.
Melbourne Cup Crab and Pineapple Appetizer
They call it the race that stops a nation because, come tomorrow at around 3:00pm, just about everyone in the country will stop what they are doing to watch, or listen to, the running of the Cup. If you happen to live in Melbourne, you get to stop for a hell of a lot more than that. We get the WHOLE day off work. Seriously. We don’t go to work all day because for about 5 minutes in the afternoon some horses run around a track. It’s awesome, the most mad and random holiday ever!!!
And because we’re not working, if people aren’t actually going to the races, they have parties and bbq’s or set up parties in the car park at the track, kind of like tail gating but classier. Every one dresses up and the weather is generally good – it’s party time here!!! Apart from the hay fever. That’s still sucking.
Melbourne Cup Crab and Pineapple Appetizer
And what better way to celebrate your Cup Day holiday, than this adorable vintage salad from Rosemary Mayne-Wilson’s Salads for All Seasons and the accompanying MC Cocktail which I made up to go along with it?
The unifying element between the two is pineapple. And can I just say. Forget Chanel #5.
Pineapple has got to be the best smell in the world. When I opened that can? I just wanted to take a big swim in that glorious scent. Soooo good. And yes, I used pineapple from a can. Fresh pineapple is great. If you happen to live in Cambodia…OMG, the best, sweetest most heaven scented pineapple ever…or you have a couple of spare hours to pfaff about with peeling and coring and taking the eyes out and blah blah blah. As far as I am concerned, canned pineapple is the way to go.
Melbourne Cup Appetiser 3
What was not so good was the tinned crab. It was….fairly bland is a nice way of putting it. Completely tasteless would be another. Despite that, the pineapple was sweet and the dressing was surprisingly good. I think that if you used fresh crab meat this would become super good.
RMW recommends decorating this with crab legs. Even if I had made this using fresh crab I would find that a bit creepy. I used some chopped up chives and mint (both can I add, fresh from my garden)!
Alternatively you could forgo piling the crab into and onto the pineapple rings and mix them together and serve in these amazing bits of crabby kitsch!
Crab Salad Bowls
I would still use the watercress to line the crab bowls. That peppery goodness added a real bit of zing to this dish.
But I will tell you something totally weird. As I was making it, I believed I had spotted a huge flaw in the logic of this salad. Cos that’s the kind of thing I think about, The logic of food. As I may have said a couple of times before, it’s nice to see that Philosophy major isn’t going to waste!
So, here was my concern. You pile your crab meat onto and into the hole of your pineapple ring. However, the law of gravity would suggest that when you picked up your pineapple ring that the crab meat in the hole would not, should not lift with the ring….
Weird thing is? It totally does. Well nearly totally does. A smidgeon of crab may remain on the plate but it will lift. You need to pack it in fairly tight though.
I would definitely make this again. But I would definitely use fresh crab meat.
MC – Midori and Chartreuse Cocktail
So, what do you do with the leftover juice from the can of pineapple? Well, if life gives you pineapple juice, I say make a super refreshing and tasty as hell cocktail. I also happened to have a bottle of Midori hanging about. It was given to me as a housewarming present when I moved into my old apartment. How on earth it managed to survive 13 years I have no idea. Anyway on that bottle was a tag and on that tag was a recipe for a cocktail called a 24/7 which was Midori, Chartreuse, lime cordial and pineapple juice. I made this and it was ok. Then I made a second one where I subbed in some fresh lemon juice for the lime cordial and it was much better. Then I made a third…(see what I mean about being surprised that bottle hadn’t been drained long ago?) where I added a splash of ginger beer. And ladies and gentlemen, we had a winner!
The MC Cocktail
I’m calling my version the MC – Midori and Chartreuse, Melbourne Cup…
Oh, and the left over salad dressing? Was really good on some oysters the following day! It had that Bloody Mary Shot vibe about it. Kind of retro in it’s own way!
Oysters with Tomato – Horseradish Dressing
I will be spending Cup Day cooking up a Joan Crawford inspired Romantic dinner for two courtesy of Jenny at Silver Screen Suppers…stay tuned, I think it’s going to be awesome! Whatever you do, I hope it’s fabulous!
For the Tomato – Horseradish dressing (can be made in advance)
Mix all the ingredients together and chill
For the Melbourne Cup Crab and Pineapple Appetizer
Arrange the watercress on a large plate or six small plates.
Place the pineapple on top of the watercress.
Mix 1-2 tsp of the dressing through the crab -just enough to help it stick together. Pile the crab onto the pineapple rings
Spoon a little bit of the sauce over the crab (a little goes a long way, so go easy) or serve the dressing on the side. Sprinkle with the chives and mint.
For the MC Cocktail
Fill a long glass with ice. Add the Midori, Green Chartreuse and Lemon Juice. Add pineapple juice to about 2 cm below the rim of the glass.
Don’tcha just love it when bits of your life just seem to fit together? This Hayman Island Chicken Salad pretty much joined all the dots for me last week.
Hayman Island Chicken Salad
If last week my life was a movie, this week is a jigsaw.
I have always been inordinately fond of a jigsaw. I think it stems from being an only child and it being one of the things I could do alone. We have been doing some jigsaws at work recently and it has been awesome. We set them up in the kitchen so, at lunch time or randomly through the day, people can go in a do a piece or two.
Although, just between you and me, I think the lady who is bringing them in secretly hates us. Not for her the art prints which are my favourites or the Alpine scenes and waterfalls of my childhood, No way, Uh uh…She likes the impossipuzzle. We had only just recovered from #2 which was this:
No, not a series of pieces thrown on the table. The top one is the picture.The bottom one is a close up. It was only five hundred pieces and it took us three weeks to complete! It also left us shattered remnants of human beings. Then she brought in number 3.
Cat Impossipuzzle
Yep, no borders and five extra pieces. Not to mention a plethora of cats that all look the same She really does hate us.
There was some weirdness as well. We finished puzzle #2 on a Friday but left it out so people could admire our puzzle making skills and laud us accordingly. No change on Monday. However, when I came in on Tuesday, someone had removed the four corner pieces. They hadn’t taken them or thrown them away. Just removed them and left them on the table. Who or why? No idea. I work with some strange people.
But enough of the literal, here’s the metaphorical.
After eating my weight in bacon whilst being obsessed with Fruity Devils I felt the need for some slimming.
I also had some left over pineapple and oranges and Rosemary Mayne Wilson’s Salads For All Seasons.
There is a section on diet salads in the book however it contains recipes like this
And this:
I don’t know, maybe I’m just being picky but if I was making a recipe that I wanted people to eat, I’d think twice about having the word “mould” in the title. Just saying. Maybe that was Rosemary’s cunning plan. You are so repulsed by the name of the food that your appetite is automatically reduced. Then you realise it’s either cottage cheese and pineapple juice (note, you don’t even get the pineapple) or lamb and curry powder in gelatine and what’s left of it disappears all together. Voila. I suppose it’s one way to get skinny!
Handily, not all of Rosemary’s recipes are that disgusting. I made my version of her Hayman Island Chicken Salad which used up my leftover oranges and pineapple. It was pretty tasty and looked quite pretty with the green from the avocado, celery and spring onion, the orange from the oranges (duh) and the yellow pineapple. Mango would also be great in here and would add to the tropical vibe. I have shown it here as a sandwich but I also took some into work for lunch and it was great just as a salad too. Also, there was no avocado in the original. I just had one that needed to be used….
Hayman Island Chicken Salad3
There is no explanation given the Salads For All Seasons as to why this recipe is named after Hayman Island which is a holiday resort on the Great Barrier Reef. I can only assume it was served there back in the 1970’s. It is possibly the thing in the white dish front and centre below.
Hayman Island Buffet via Vintage Queensland
So I had made my Hayman Island Chicken Salad and then, in a coincidence weirder than someone removing the corner pieces from a jigsaw, I happened to glance at the cover of this month’s Gourmet Traveller which had been sitting on my coffee table unread for a couple of weeks. (It actually made an appearance last week, slightly obscured by my huge glass of wine…)
And totally obscured by my hot sauce was this!
Coincidence? I don’t think so. I think the universe is trying to tell me something. And I’m fairly sure that it is that I need to get to Hayman Island pronto.
You see, I read that article and there is no mention of a chicken salad. Nor does it appear on any of the resort menus.
Which is, as far as I am concerned a travesty.
hayman-island-resort-32832
I feel it is my duty, no my mission, to bring this salad to the attention of the resort owners. I would be quite happy to spend a weekend working with the chefs to bring help back this piece of Hayman Island history. Although…we would probably need to match it with some wines and a cocktail or two. Hmm…maybe I’ll need a week.
And we needn’t go all out with the retro vibe. The outrigger canoe as a buffet table? That can stay gone.
And I’m not greedy. I don’t need the $ 10,600-a-night penthouse. I have simple tastes. The $1990 per night beach villa with private pool will be just fine.
How glorious does that room look? The only downside is that now I have that Coldplay song running through in my head.
As do you now too. Don’t thank me. You’re more than welcome.
All together now…Para, para, paradise…..Whoa-oh-oh oh-oooh oh-oh-oh.
So what do you think of my chances of getting the all expenses paid trip to Hayman to act as historical cuisine consultant to the chefs?
Many years ago, my mum used to work in a local solicitor’s firm – and let me tell you right now – forget every glamorous tv legal drama you’ve ever seen. Sadly, this old chestnut, unfunny though it is, was far more the reality:
Each and every one of them was bonkers. Nicely bonkers, even sweetly bonkers. But bonkers all the same.
Downstairs was the domain of a married couple, both lawyers. They had a super cute boxer dog called Brigeeta who they used to bring to work with them every day. Nothing nuts about that. I wish I could take my dogs to work everyday.
Fennel and Lemon Salad 1
What was kooky was that Brigeeta used to have a different outfit every day. And I mean EVERY DAY. My mum worked with them for maybe five years. The dog never wore the same clothes twice.
And you know, I’m not averse to dogs wearing clothes…Oscar has a pair of pyjamas he wears in winter…
Oscar in his PJ’s
But there is a a difference between ONE pair of totally necessary pyjamas and 1500 separate outfits!!!
Remember that old song “You’re so vain, you probably think this song is about you?” Well that could have been written about….well, let’s just call him Mr Magoo…(remember, these people are lawyers, they are familiar with litigation). Mr Magoo was badly in need of glasses but thought that getting them would spoil his handsome boy modelling school good looks. Which incidentally were fairly spare on the ground. Glasses were not the issue.
One morning the lady downstairs cornered him and started showing him photos of the party they had gone to the day before, many of which featured Brigeeta in her latest couture which was a Little Red Riding Hood outfit.
Later he asked Mum if she’d seen the photos. She said she had.
He said “Did you see that kid in the red? Man, that was the ugliest child I’ve ever seen”
Fennel and Lemon Salad 2
Captain of this particular Titanic was a lovely, elderly Italian solicitor. Now he wasn’t crazy as such he just sometimes had a bit of trouble with English. So, for instance, once Mum asked him what he did on the weekend and he replied “We went hunting the savage fennels”.
Have you ever heard anything more adorable in your life?
I LOVE that…
“Hunting the Savage Fennels” sounds like a Maurice Sendak book. Maybe the lesser known prequel to “Where the Wild Things Are”.
The Savage Fennels
The savage fennels grow in abundance in this neck o’ the woods; they spring up on every vacant lot and the hills are literally alive with them!
The Savage Fennels
This salad I have adapted from “Salads For All Seasons” is a perfect simple and gorgeous way to feature the savage fennels. Or the more mild mannered fennel you might find in your local supermarket or green grocer. I kept mine pretty minimalist but some black olives would be a great addition.
Fennel and Lemon Salad
I was a little worried about mixing cream and lemon juice in the dressing…because surely that would curdle? It didn’t.
Final tip on the salad – fennel is quite robust so it is perfectly fine to dress the salad and leave it for hours. I added the dressing in the morning and took this to work and it was still crunchy four or five hours later.
This is a perfect accompaniment to fish but would also be fabulous with a grilled steak!
Have a fabulous week! And beware the savage fennels!
You might be wondering what the flipping heck that monstrosity in the photo above is. Don’t worry, we’re not eating it. You may also be wondering why the flipping heck I’ve suddenly gone all British. No idea gov, lawksamercy, love a duck, what’s all this then? 
My next gift is for anyone who wants to take up the challenge. Your Christmas present will be my forever esteem because, you have gone where angels fear to tread. Please someone make this and let me know if it truly is as disgusting as it reads….
